Rating: 1 out of 5
Rated: R for boobs and comical graphic violence.
Where to begin? Nothing scary about it at all, considering the Jason and Freddy histories. More of a comedy like the SCARY MOVIES series has become. Really, a parody of itself. And at a bit over 90 minutes, about 20 minutes too long.
But it had boobs and a small handful of mildly amusing lines, so it’s not all that bad. If the audience you’re with yells back as the screen, then you may have a good time watching this dreck.
Feeling lonely? Feeling like nobody loves you enough to call? Want to feel special?
Then check out HOLLYWOOD IS CALLING, a site where you can order up today’s hottest celebrities…. well, those willing to participate in this, anyway… and have them call you up and leave a special voicemail message just for you. Prices start at $5 for a video greeting card. $20 gives you a 30-second voice-mail message, and an extra $10, you can have them deliver a message that you wrote yourself to a special someone.
Things really get interesting if you decide to pony up $300, because that will give you a 20-minute conversation with the celebrity.
Here are just a few of the dozens of celebrities who are available:
- Greg Evigan (from BJ and the Bear)
- Larry Thomas (Seinfeld‘s “Soup Nazi”)
- Erin Gray (Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Silver Spoons)
- Dana Barron (National Lampoon’s Vacation)
- Sybil Danning (Chained Heat)
- Andrea Thompson (NYPD Blue, CNN Headline News)
If you’re interested in the 30-second message, here’s a list of what’s available:
- 5 Minute Motivational And Health Tips Call
- 10 Minute Motivational And Health Tips Call
- 20 Minute Motivational And Health Tips Call
- 5 Minute Live Psychic Consultation
- 10 Minute Live Psychic Consultation
- 15 Minute Live Psychic Consultation
- Customized Message
- Customized Romance Special
- Call Just To Say Hello
- Encouraging Motivational Call
- Merry Christmas
- Happy Birthday
- Tell My Wife I Love Her
- Tell My Girlfriend I Love Her
- Tell My Husband I Love Him
- Tell My Boyfriend I Love Him
- Congratulations On Getting Married
- Congratulations On Your Bachelor Party
- Congratulations On Your Bachelorette Party
- Congratulations On Your Prom
- Congratulations On Your Graduation
- Congratulations On Your Bar Mitzvah
- Congratulations On Your Bat Mitzvah
- Congratulations On Your First Holy Communion
- Thank You For Your Business
- Thanks For Being A Great Boss
- Thanks For Allowing Me To Be Your Realtor
- Thanks For Allowing Me To Be Your Sales Representative
- Thank You For The Job Interview
- Have A Nice Day
- Happy Anniversary
- Congratulations On Your Wedding Anniversary
- Happy Easter
- April Fools
- Congratulations On Being Employee Of The Month
- Happy Marital Engagement
- I Miss You Very Much
- Congratulations On Having A Baby
- Happy Retirement
- Happy Sweetest Day
- Happy Fathers Day
- Happy Mothers Day
- Happy Hanukkah
- Congratulations On A Great Report Card
- Happy Thanksgiving
- Happy Valentines Day
- Happy New Year
- Happy Halloween
- Get Well Soon
- Invitation To A Date
- Marriage Proposal
- Congratulations On Winning The Big Game
- Message Of Unconditional Love From Your Family
- Congratulations On Your Recent Success
Just in time for back to school is a revolutionary new gadget that is sure to please moms and dads everywhere: THE TIME SCOUT.
If your kids (or husbands) are watching too much TV or playing their video games all night, why not turn those activities into a true reward? Plug the selected device into the Time Scout and give your children their own “charge card.” When the child swipes their card through the Time Scout reader, the TV or video game can now be used for a preset amount of time.
Now you can reward your children with an hour of television for a week, and they get to choose how and when they use it. They can use the time now, use it later, or even save all their earned time for a party at the end of the week because that’s what they earned. And when their time is up, it’s the Time Scout that turns into the bad cop, not you.
And yes, there is a parental bypass for those late-night games of Ratchet and Clank.
Rating: see below for explanation
Rated: PG-13 for action movie violence, really creepy evil undead skeletons/zombies, a whole lot of drinking, some blood, and a wee bit of pirate sexual innuendo. Basically, all the stuff that pirates do best.
This Jerry Bruckheimer film is based on the beloved Disney ride of the same name. It happens to be the last ride that Walt worked on before he died, and is considered by many to be the best ride at the Disney parks. Would Walt be happy with this film? I’d say…. yes. There are enough homages to the ride that fit in context with the film without being cheesy, and yet the film stands alone. Will it make the ride a bit more… interesting? understandable? Perhaps… and therein lies the fun.
Continue reading MOVIE REVIEW: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
The New York Times is running a story entitled OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE A LANYARD, OLD ENOUGH TO DO IT NUDE, and has – surprisingly – run into a little backlash on the subject content.
Apparently, it’s not natural for 13-year-old girls to complain about having to play “strip volleyball” when they’d rather play regular volleyball. The campers’ stance is that having to put clothes ON in order to play the strip version of the game is the hindrance, not the fact that they’re all playing naked in the first place. Continue reading NUDE SUMMER CAMPS… YOU KNOW, FOR KIDS
Ever wanted to pull off your own viral Internet hoax?
The Internet has made coming up with new and original ideas easy. Check out THE MUSEUM OF HOAXES for a list of stunts that have already been pulled off, and then think about putting your own unique spin on the event.
Still, trying to come up with a unique hoax idea or wacky news item that hasn’t been done before has been made more difficult by the proliferation of those forwarded emails that everyone must have received at some time or other. Just because your friend has sent you an email with a news item in it does not mean that the news item in question is true. As is often the case, the person forwarding the email may not have checked their facts before sending it. Remember – even though you were sent that forwarded email from a trusted friend or family member, they could have been duped somewhere along the way. You should always check your sources as well.
Continue reading HOW TO VERIFY AN INTERNET HOAX
Have you ever seen something in the newspaper or heard something on the news that just didn’t seem right to you? News reporters are supposed to check and double-check their facts before reporting things, right?
Just ask The New York Times and ABC News anchor Peter Jennings what happened to them in the winter of 1999, when they had a report on mistranslated Chinese movie titles.
Continue reading THE TOP FIVE LIST: DAILY INTERNET HUMOR
According to the LYCOS.COM Internet search engine, the top 10 things being searched for in 2002 were:
- Dragonball-Z. A japanese cartoon extremely popular with kids and college students
- KaZaA File-sharing
- Tattoos… although this could be a misspelling. See below.
- Britney Spears
- Morpheus File-sharing
- NFL Fantasy football. It’s so huge that the NFL has finally embraced the concept on their own website.
- The IRS
- Pamela Anderson
Other things that were notably popular include:
Continue reading TOP INTERNET SEARCHES FOR 2002
Because nothing is funnier than monkeys in space.
BACHELOR PARTY TIPS is a site where the wedding party participants who decide to take charge of the pre-wedding bachelor or bachelorette party festivities can go to come up with some great ideas and planning tips that ensure the lucky bride or groom have a great time.
They have the traditional party pledge that all partygoers must sign and adhere to at all costs, drinking games, party points (those with the most points at the end of the night wins, obviously), a list of 32 “Dudes Rules”, tips on stripper etiquette, and to-do lists for the bride or groom-to-be.
On those to-do lists? For bachelorettes, it includes:
- Do a shot
- Take off your bra while in the bar
- Dance with two guys at once
- Collect a man’s underwear (extra points for holes or skid marks)
For bachelors, their list includes:
- Get a girl to kiss you
- Get a girl to spank you
- Ask at least 5 women if they are your fiance
- Have a beer chugging race with the rest of the bachelor party
The site implies that bachelorette parties are a bit more crazed than are bachelor parties. Take a look at the suggestions they’ve posted for the “Bachelorette I Never” drinking game. Remember, in this game the object is to never have done these things, because you must take a drink if you have. Which basically means that at least one person in the group has done this stuff. Lucky groom, we hope.
- Went skinny-dipping
- Stuffed my bra.
- Had a one night stand.
- Wore a skirt without underwear.
- Had sex in a car.
- Have been tied up.
- Had sex outside.
- Threw up in public.
- Woke up with a man who I didn’t know.
- Kissed another woman.
- Kissed two different guys in one night.
- Sunbathed Nude.
I’ll bet you could combine the “I Never” list with the “Bachelorette To-Do” list and have a really interesting story to tell at the divorce proceedings.