The women pounced on the opportunity, loudly proclaiming that the guy who dared voice his opinion had “lost his guy card”. The conversation quickly went badly for the men in the room as they defended their buddy’s innocuous comment.
Whether the men were successful in their defense or not is really not today’s topic – but rather, the one question left unanswered that night:
First, let’s take a look at some of the suggested ways to lose a guy card from one of those sites listed above:
- You miss your buddy’s going away party.
- Your girlfriend says she wishes you were more romantic, so you try.
- You miss your fantasy baseball draft party for a date.
- You order a salad instead of a steak. At a steakhouse.
- Your buddy orders a round of shots and you refuse to do yours.
- You use an umbrella instead of walking in the rain.
- There’s a Playboy sitting on a coffee table and you don’t look at it.
- Have a song by any “boy band” on your iPhone
- Suggest that you and your buddies go to lunch at a resturant that doesn’t serve wings
- Wearing a pink shirt
- Point with your pinkie.
With the above items and some other ideas throw around, we all agreed that there were plenty of different ways for a guy to lose his guy card.
But, using the same criteria, we were hard-pressed to come up with a list of ways for a girl to lose her chick card. (We didn’t care if it was a “Girl Card”, “Gal Card”, “Bitch Card” – whatever it was named was fine with us.)
We came up with some ideas — like if her husband had to lay out her clothes for her every day — but even that didn’t seem to be a big deal to anyone in the room. Some of the other concepts that seemed to make sense on the surface for a girl could lose her chick card was if she:
- didn’t like chick flicks
- was not obsessed with shoes, purses, makeup, shopping
- knows her way around a Home Depot
- doesn’t crave designer-name jewelry
Except none of the above make a girl less girly in a bad way, unlike ways a man loses a guy card for being less of a man. In fact, all those things could be highly desirable in some women.
No, it had to be something else.
Then we figured out one surefire way for a girl to lose her chick card:
We’re not talking an unavoidable little toot escaping as she squats in the middle of the grocery store aisle to grab the bottle of apple cider vinegar from the back of the bottom shelf, or something that could otherwise be explained away by the squeak of a leather chair.
Ditto with the inevitable escapee while at yoga doing downward-facing dog. Farting in yoga class is just funny.
No, we’re talking if the lady in your life lets out a rip-roaring, paint-peeling, rotten egg found in an old sneaker, duck quack heard around the world, fart for the ages.
Yup, that’s pretty much the only thing that can cost a girl her chick card.
Funny, isn’t it, that guys are able to lose their guy card in so many different ways, but there’s only one way that a girl can lose her chick card? What do you think?