Web Watch has heard parents struggle with getting the name of their offspring exactly right, that the monogram isn’t weird, or that they aren’t going to subject their kids to unmerciless teasing because their name just happens to rhyme with “fart”.
Kids can be cruel, but parents can be unintentionally cruel as well.
Do you have sloppy handwriting, or nun-sactioned perfect script?
Some people — doctors, famously – have some of the worst handwriting on the planet. Some say it’s because they are so busy that they don’t have time to write a perfect note to the pharmacist or in your chart. Others say it’s just sheer laziness.
Some people religiously go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 5am, a good seven hours of sleep every night. They are also likely to have a decent breakfast and workout before heading off to be at the office before everyone else.
These go-getters tend to piss off everyone else around them, don’t they?
How many websites do you visit in a day? Week? Month?
We know, just from you reading this today, that you visit at least one website that we know about. And chances are, you got here after visiting a search engine or a link from another site.
And it’s really hard to guess what the LEAST VISITED WEBSITE IN THE WORLD is, because there are any number of purchased domains that some bloke is using for their own personal storage space rather than serving a public service. For every website that you may have heard of, there are likely thousands that are only known about by the person who purchased the domain name.
How many companies have you worked for over your career?
Some people find one company and stay with them for years until retirement. It’s rare to find them, but it’s possible to stick with a single organization for 25-30 years or longer.
Then there are some resumes you run across where people flip from company to company every 2-3 years without batting an eye. They aren’t looking for long-term stability and career goals, but rather are just moving on to the next great hit.
If you’re a normal, reasonable parent – chances are that you’re going to say, “no – my kids are not fat”. Perhaps they’re merely big-boned, or still are working off their baby fat.
Think we’re crazy for even asking? We don’t think so — One study published in the New York Times says that 10% of all children under 2 years old are overweight. That 12.4% of children between the ages of 2 and 5 years old are obese.
If your child is obese at the age of 5 years old — and if obesity doesn’t run in your family genetically at that age — then maybe, just maybe, there’s something in the manner you’re raising your child that is contributing to their lardness.
Remember back in the day (and we’re only talking about maybe 10 years ago for many) when you were still using dial-up modems to connect to the Internet at 56k speeds? Heck – Web Watch still has a 2400 baud modem lying around here somewhere. Yeah, that day you upgraded to that 56k rocket was awesome, wasn’t it?
Show of hands – how many of you own a smartphone (Apple’s iPhone, Google’s Android primarily)?
That’s right – we know that while the vast majority of you did raise your hand proudly waving your mini-computer around, there are still a fairly substanial number of you who still proudly sport a flip phone or other non-smartphone around in your pocket.
And that’s okay. For you, you can skip over this post knowing that you’ve made the right decision.
It’s because we’re about to tell you how smartphone users are really no different from flipphone users, when it comes right down to it.
When was the last time you went through the bins in your storage closet?
Web Watch is betting that you’ve probably squirreled away some things that you thought you’d keep for future kids or grandkids, or maybe you thought that “this may be worth something some day”.
Or maybe you just wanted to have more stuff. Hey, it happens.
So remember back when Pet Rocks were a thing? They sold like flapjacks, then everyone realized that all they have was a rock in a cardboard box. On the other hand, what originally sold for $3.95 can now be had on eBay for $11-$21 apiece, assuming that you have the original packaging. It’s not a ton of money, but you can’t deny that the price point has certainly increased over the past 30+ years since the Pet Rock was first introduced.
Have you ever wanted to own your own arcade machine in your basement? (Notice how we refuse to use the term MAN CAVE here?
How many hundreds (or thousands) of dollars in quarters have you thrown into one of these electronic marvels, only to end up dying on the final level because some idiot jostled your arm at the last moment?
Wouldn’t you like to own your own arcade machine? We know what you’re thinking — we don’t want to own a single game. What would happen if we ever got bored of playing Ms Pac Man? That’ll just be a total waste of money.
As you get closer to the birth of your new baby, you may start to wonder whether you should stick with a name from one of those baby books, or whether you should go off the beaten path and name your child after, let’s say, your favorite character.
Some people have done this successfully, such as Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller who (with his wife’s blessing, we assume) decided to name his daughter Moxie Crimefighter. Who can’t say that a crimefighter isn’t a favorite character somewhere along the way?
But let’s say that you have more personal favorites from the world of books, games, food products, or other marketing. Why wouldn’t you want to name your child after one of those characters… if ONLY YOU KNEW WHAT THEIR REAL NAMES WERE?!?!?
The more things change, the more things stay the same.
That’s the case with the annual McDONALD’S MONOPOLY GAME, where hungry people all over attempt to collect a set of deed cards to fill out their Monopoly game board in an attempt to win thousands of dollars worth of prizes.