Yearly Archives: 2007

Movie Review: I Am Legend


By web gangsta | Published:

Rating: B-

It’s entertaining, especially if you like those isolationist sci-fi stories.

It’s a little creepy, with some suspenseful scares — if you hate things jumping out at you then you probably won’t like that aspect of the film. 

The shots of empty New York City are amazing.  

I’ve been told that the ending is not the same as the book, so looking at the film that way, I’ll have to equate it to the same way that the movie Logan’s Run is different from the book.  They’re both worthwhile and can stand on their own, but don’t try to compare them directly to each other if you don’t want to be disappointed.

Movie Review: The Bucket List


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG-13 for language and old person butt.

Rating: (see below)

This one is hard to tell which way it will go with audiences.

It predictably hits every single “things you should do before you die” movie cliche there is. The question is whether the audience will consist of old people who
want a good movie that they can relate to (ie no wizards or talking cars, and poop jokes that actually are related to the story as opposed to for
juvenile comedic effect), or if they would avoid a movie that is so up
front in talking about impending death for fear of being reminded of their
own upcoming events. Continue reading MOVIE REVIEW: THE BUCKET LIST

The Most Perfect Breasts in the World (scientifically speaking, of course)


By web gangsta | Published:

Leave it to those wacky scientists – one has discovered the SECRET FORMULA FOR PERFECT BREASTS.

In a paper entitled “Concepts in Design for Breast Augmentation” being presented at a breast enlargement conference being held in London this week, scientist Patrick Mallucciwill share the findings that he came up with after studying hundreds of topless celebrity photos.

Mallucci said, “I studied a wide variety of photographs of the most popular topless models to work out the various proportions they had in common and what made those particular features attractive.”

Continue reading THE MOST PERFECT BREASTS IN THE WORLD (SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING, OF COURSE)

Movie Review: Superbad


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated R for toplessness, foul language, sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, and more foul language.

Rating:  A-

Almost as funny as Knocked Up, if Knocked Up were a Harold & Kumar spinoff.  

Lots of good, solid laughs, but all the jokes and language is pretty foul, raunchy, and completely not PC in any way. Continue reading MOVIE REVIEW: SUPERBAD

Movie Review: The Bourne Ultimatum


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG-13 for action movie violence

Rating:  B-

First, it helps to have seen the other 2 films so you have a bit of backstory.  There are some plot aspects that require you to remember why Bourne is on the run and who he has previously interacted with.  Not necessarily vital, but helpful.

Secondly, I’m not a fan of the shaky camera filming style that was overly popular in the 2nd film.  It’s used way too much here, making it hard to focus on specific action sequences.

Continue reading MOVIE REVIEW: THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM

Great Moments in Parenting Blog


By web gangsta | Published:

If you have kids and want to laugh at other parents’ misery, you will want to check out ONE GOOD THING’s HUMILIATING MOMENTS IN PARENTING blog, if only for this one classic part of the post:

For hands-down humiliation, however, I haven’t yet been able to top my neighbor’s misery, when his three year old daughter interrupted his poker game by running naked into the room and screaming with a joyous voice of discovery, “DADDY! DID YOU KNOW? I COME WITH MY OWN POCKET! AND IT CAN HOLD A PEN! LOOK!” Continue reading GREAT MOMENTS IN PARENTING BLOG

Movie Review: Live Free or Die Hard


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG-13 for some bad language and action violence fun stuff

Rating:  B

In the world of Die Hard movies, this one is a fine addition to the series.  Good one-liners and laughs, great action sequences, and the typical summer action-movie moments of “you just gotta suspend belief”. 

It’s your basic fun, fun popcorn movie. 

Continue reading MOVIE REVIEW: LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD

Movie Review: Ratatouille


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated G for nothing overly offensive.  A bit of cartoon violence, some kissing, and perhaps a double-entrendre or two for the parents’ amusement.

Rating:  A+

I expected this to be good.  I didn’t expect it to be as good as it is.  Believe all the advance hype it’s getting — Pixar/Disney has outdone themselves.  The water and fur effects are utterly amazing.  The story, for me, dragged in some places, but that’s okay as the rest of the film more than made up for it.

Good laughs, especially if you’re a foodie.  Have I mentioned how amazing the film looks?  I think the last 15 minutes of the film wrapped up a little too quickly and neatly; it probably could have used another 5 minutes.  

On the bright side, for those of you looking to get out of the theater with the kiddies as soon as possible, there’s no need to stay through the end credits any longer than you feel necessary.

So, as of right now, here’s my Pixar Rankings List.  As always, it’s subjective and subject to change any time I feel like it:

  1. The Incredibles 
  2. Ratatouille
  3. Finding Nemo
  4. Toy Story 2
  5. Monsters Inc
  6. Toy Story
  7. Cars
  8. A Bugs Life

Movie Review: Ocean’s 13


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG-13 for some language and sensuality.  Meow.
Rating:  B+

This movie fixes the one plot point that I hated about O12, and gets back to what O11 did so well:  the setup of the heist, and the execution of the heist.  They don’t waste time on extra filler.  I had a good time with it.

Unfortunately, they could have used a little bit more exposition and the dialogue missed a little bit of the fun that they had in O11 (ex: “did you bring the batteries?”)   You can tell that they had fun, the plot does make sense, and it’s an enjoyable throwback.  

Some people I saw it with really thought O12 was better… but for those who hated O12 because it wasn’t like O11, they’ll be pleased by what O13 is all about.

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean 3


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG-13 for swashbuckling violence.  And a little bit of a darker tone than the first two films.

Rating:  B+.  Good action, a handful of amusement.  Good all around wrapup of the stories (it’ll help if you remember the plotline for PotC 2)

Some quick thoughts, in no particular order:

Movie Review: Knocked Up


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated R for lots of nudity (both kinds – the good kind and the bad kind), language, adult situations, and all the other good fun stuff that you’d expect from the folks who did the 40-Year-Old Virgin.  Yup, the good ol’ R-rated comedies are back!

Rating:  B+

Tons of fun, lots of laughs through *almost* the entire movie.  If they didn’t stick in an hour of “let’s make a relationship” crap, then this movie would have been totally awesome.  You can literally play the game of “who’s that?” and pick out SNL cast members, 40YOV cast members, random funny people from other shows, etc.  And compared to Shrek, this one *did* have enough poop jokes. (the difference was that these poop jokes were funny.)  And if you loved the 80-year-old tits swinging in the breeze in There’s Something About Mary, you’re in for a treat with this one too.

Did I say it was funny?   It’ll be a good date movie.  Perhaps not a good *first* date movie, but a good date movie nonetheless.

Movie Review: Shrek the Third


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG for about 10 minutes of poop jokes and talk about baby making.
Rating:  C

It ain’t that great.  Kids younger than 7 or so probably won’t understand half of what’s going on, and there are way too many pop-culture references that are really going to date this movie going forward. 

I hate to say it, but it really wasn’t …. “charming”… at all. 

I had probably 2 good laughs the entire film, and smiled mildly at way too few other portions.  Almost took a little nap at one point, too.   The first Shrek film IS a classic.  2 and 3, not so much.   I think the problem is more with Dreamworks, as this series and Shark Tale both suffered from the same “let’s force the rock-n-roll” into the movie when it really doesn’t need to be there.   Watching the Fairy Tale Princesses burning their bras?  What’s the point?  And seriously, there’s a line in the film that is basically “then there’s poop, some more poop, and poop over there too”. 

As one person I was with said, “you can’t have too many poop jokes in a kids’ movie”.  In this case, yes – yes, you can.

Movie Review: Lucky You


By web gangsta | Published:

Rated PG-13 for adult situations and gambling. 

Rating:  C-

It’s billed as a romantic comedy, but don’t believe the hype.  There’s more (boring) scenes of poker than there are of any so-called romance.  And I *like* watching poker.   

Some slightly funny gambling-related moments (one character completely based on a real person and situation).  The problem is that this is a poker movie with a romance side-story, not a romance movie with a bit of poker.  In this case, you’ve really got to know when to fold ’em.

Movie Review: PEZHEADS


By web gangsta | Published:

Giant Tigger PEZ DispenserNot rated, material should be fine for people of all ages.

Rating: C

It’s a good concept, a movie about PEZ collecting. But the film is lacking a cohesive plot that ties it all together or makes you want to care about the people being profiled.  Try sending them on the ultimate PEZ quest or some other mission. Give us a reason to cheer for them, or otherwise inspire another audience emotion.

Continue reading MOVIE REVIEW: PEZHEADS

Movie Review: King of Kong, a Fistful of Quarters


By web gangsta | Published:

Not rated (nothing offensive, other than a single recurring poo joke that could be construed as being family friendly)

Rating: B+

It’s a documentary about the “ultra-competitive world of World Record Video Gaming, specifically Donkey Kong”.  If you liked WORDPLAY or SPELLBOUND, you’ll love this one too.  It helps if you have some like of video games anyway.  

LOVED this film.  Great suspense, good characters, some funny bits too.  It helps that there’s a hero and a villain (and a figurative group of crazed villagers with flaming torches and pitchforks, trying to Keep the Man Down).