Are you an ASKER or are you a GUESSER?
If you’ve ever travelled to Las Vegas (or Biloxi, Atlantic City, Tunica, or any of the many gambling places in between), you should be familiar with the “comp” system.
Everyone knows about the free drinks that casinos give you just for gambling, but many casual gamblers are left wondering how to get more – show tickets, free buffets, limo pickup at the airport, etc.
The obvious answer is that the player simply needs to gamble more money and spend more time in the casino – and eventually, if you’re lucky, a casino host will magically appear at your elbow and offer you anything your heart desires (if only you’ll continue playing those black and purple chips for a few more hours).
But for the casual gamer – someone who bets the red $5 chips carefully and cautiously – getting those extra freebies takes a little more work.
You have to take the initiative and ask for them.
Some people — the ASKERS — have absolutely no problem asking for all sorts of stuff because the fun is in the gathering of anything that’s free. Some would call these folks “moochers”, “freeloaders”, or “prize pigs” — while others would simply refer to them as opportunists, taking control of a situation and turning it to their advantage for whatever perceived gain there is to be had.
Just like on prom night, they may be turned down. But a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while, and that’s enough to keep them going on.
The GIVERS, on the other hand, will anticipate the giving of such items and make it appear – however subtly, that the offer is being given away via freewill. There was no need to ask for anything when it is being given. The target may not even know that they are being targeted by a GIVER… the target will just give what is needed to the GIVER.
The end result between the ASKER and the GIVER is the same – both parties will end up receiving said benefit. The difference is how each approaches the situation and obtains what they want. The Asker is more direct and blunt; the Giver is more discreet and manipulative. Askers work well with other Askers; Guessers work well with other Guessers.
They just don’t work well with each other.
So back to the original question: which one are you, and which is the better one to be in the Big Picture?