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How to make a guaranteed Oscar-winning film

How hard can it be to make an Academy Award winning film?

Lots of people have Oscar awards.  Some are honorary, others are earned.  Some are from the National Academy, others are from regional or state Acadamies.  Still, no matter how it’s obtained, an Oscar is an Oscar.

Not an Oscar Award(Not) An Academy Award

But winning the Oscar for Best Film is an honor unto itself.  And if history has taught us anything, the more things change the more things stay the same.

That’s what VANITY FAIR pointed out by analyzing the 503 FILMS THAT HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE to come up with the DEFINITIVE LIST OF WHAT MAKES A BEST PICTURE.

Let’s take a look.  A Best Picture should have these traits:

  • Based on a novel
  • Be a blockbuster
  • The title of the film will be spoken by a character in the film
  • The film covers friendship, love, and death
  • There’s a husband-wife relationship
  • Dancing?  Check.  Singing?  Check.
  • A little blood, a little face slap.  Maybe some drunkenness.
  • And part of the film must take place in New York City… in a bar.  And a restaurant.
  • In the 1930’s
  • And feature a doctor or a singer
  • Maybe involved a little bit of World War II.
  • Some flashbacks?  Sound good to us.

Marriage proposals?  Used to be important… but aren’t so much anymore.  Both male and female nudity is also on the decline… but male abs are definitely in.

Wrap all this together, and statistically – you’ve gotten yourself an Oscar-winning blockbuster.  Remember to thank us in your acceptance speech.