Web Watch » Music

Got at least $12,000? Book THE DAN BAND for your next party. GREEN DAY will cost you a little more

web gangsta — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 23:00:59 +0000

More Gigs Now: Concert Booking Secrets of Successful Musicians

Web Watch last covered how much money it would take to book an artist for a private party many years ago.

Since then, the list of available artists has changed… as have the prices that they’ve charged.

So we felt that now was just as good a time as any to revisit the topic and present a selection of booking information we’ve found that can help you BUDGET AN ARTIST BOOKING FOR A PRIVATE EVENT.

Here is a sampling of approximate costs that you can expect to pay at a minimum if you decide to throw an exclusive private party and want a big-name artist or speaker to come and perform for you and your drunk friends at your house:

ADAM RICHMAN from MAN VS FOOD: $10,000+
Olympic Gold Medalist APOLO OHNO: $60,000+
The Fonz – HENRY WINKLER: $25,000
American Idol Judge KARA DIOGUARDI: $15,000-$25,000
Former NBC news anchor TOM BROKAW: $110,000+
SNL cast member DARRELL HAMMOND: $35,000-$40,000
Actor/comedian DAVID CROSS: $20,000
Comedian/AFLAC duck voice - GILBERT GOTTFRIED: $15,000
JERRY SEINFELD: between $250,000-350,000
From various movies, such as THE HANGOVER, THE DAN BAND – $12,000-15,000
VILLAGE PEOPLE: $25,000+
BRUCE HORNSBY: $35,000++
CHEAP TRICK: $35,000
BEN FOLDS: $45,000
THE BLACK EYED PEAS: $350,000+
GREEN DAY: $500,000++
HARRY CONNICK JR.: $100,000 +++
ASHER ROTH: $20,000
COOLIO: $20,000
JASON DERULO: $25,000-30,000+
KELIS: $25,000-30,000

As always, actual costs may be higher or lower depending on what you’re situation is and what you’re offering the artist — who knows, maybe they’ll show up at your wedding for free…all you have to do is ask.

UPDATE: The Dan Band is listed above as $12-15k. Apparently, it all depends on what you want. ACCORDING TO AN EMAIL THAT THEIR MANAGER SENT, the 7-piece band will run $15-25k while the 3-piece band is the $10-15k range. Of course, travel expenses for the band and their crew are not included. If you just want a personalized video, that runs a relatively paltry $1,500.

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Audio Fun: Create your own Old Spice outgoing voicemail message

web gangsta — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 04:04:23 +0000

Old Spice Body Wash

If you have been enjoying the OLD SPICE COMMERCIALS that have been sweeping across the Internet this week that star Isaiah Mustafa recording personalized Old Spice-themed messages as responses to Twitter, Facebook, and other messages that have been sent his way, then perhaps you’d want to visit one of these sites to record some history for yourself.

THE OLD SPICE MAN VOICEMAIL GENERATOR or THE OLD SPICE VOICEMAIL GENERATOR FOR MEN OR WOMEN.

Just enter a number and select from the presented choices, and your personalized MP3 will be generated and made available for your download and use – finally allowing your unanswered phone to not smell like desperation anymore.

This Old Spice campaign is, by all accounts from those who follow these types of things, sheer brilliance in using social media to reach out to a new demographic who may not be interested in the seemingly old-skewing Old Spice brand. Kudos to the marketers for trying something new, and making it funny/worthwhile to follow along with.

How did they do it? You may want to check out one of these articles that can better explain the marketing genius behind this unique campaign:

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Lady Gaga can be hazardous to your health

web gangsta — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 23:00:07 +0000

Lady Gaga

Doctors around the country have issued warnings to anyone who is trying to dress up like Lady Gaga, saying that DRESSING UP LIKE LADY GAGA CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.

And since Web Watch wants to be sure that you have this information in a timely manner before you decide to emulate your pop hero for Halloween, we thought we’d share now instead of closer to October. It’s our public service announcement of the day.

Don’t wear “Circle Lenses” cosmetic contact lenses. Wearing over-the-counter contact lenses without a doctor’s care are almost never a good idea, no matter how trendy those giant eyeballs make you look.
Don’t follow Lady Gaga’s eating advice. Gaga said “pop stars don’t eat”. Really? Don’t believe it.
Don’t wear gigantic platform shoes. You’ll most likely fall over and twist an ankle. You know you will.
Don’t wear lingerie that can kill yourself or someone else. Convert those flamethrowing bras to ones that shoot whipped cream, like Katy Perry did.

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Six Degrees of Separation of John Mayer’s Junk

web gangsta — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 23:00:23 +0000

John Mayer’s genitals have gotten around.

And whether real or simply imagined — and for Web Watch’s sake, we’ll throw in that “alleged” is an appropriate word to cover the rest of this post — if you follow the old adage that once you have sex with one person, you have had sex with every other person your partner has had sex with… then John Mayer has had sex with a veritable crapload of people.

Let’s take a look at the alleged SIX DEGREES OF JOHN MAYER’S PENIS, according to GQ magazine. First, we have to look at who John’s primary conquests were:Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Taylor Swift, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly, and Jennifer Aniston.

If you then extend each of those pairings with all of their partners, and their partner’s partners (and so on, and so on) — and you can follow all the individual pairings up on the linked graphic — each of these partner groupings can end up being classified into the following categories:

The DiCaprio/Maguire/Q-Tip/Blaine “Posse” Nebula
Ryan’s Belt
Alpha-Male Centauri
The Crabs Nebula
Manwhoredromeda Galaxy
The Clinton Global Initiative
Smarty-Pants-Less Zone
Nickelodeon Cluster
Tommy Lee’s Big Dipper

And if you follow some of the connections out to their ultimate endpoints, you’ll find some interesting entries, such as:

David Spade –> Way Too Many Attractive People
Kim Kardashian –> People who were famous for 10 minutes
Tiger Woods –> Anything that moves
Britney Spears –> That other guy she married
Fred Savage –> “Girlfriend in Canada”
Uma Thurman –> Mick Jagger…and other genuinely cool people
Lindsay Lohan –> The paparazzi
Bill Clinton –> a McDonald’s Big Mac

Yeah, you can spend hours looking at all the relationships that John Mayer finds himself (allegedly) in the middle of. The question is, did they miss any?

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Can’t get enough vuvuzela at the office? Then you’ll love this site

web gangsta — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:00:42 +0000

Vuvuzela Anthem

Enjoy! Brrrrrzzzzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLOW THE VUVUZELA

(here’s a handy hint – click, then move the mouse away from the “play” button… the audio should continue to play in the window after you release the mouse)

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Can you name 7 ways to mess up a wedding? Surprisingly “inviting Adam Sandler” is not on the list

web gangsta — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 23:00:30 +0000

Adam Sandler – They’re All Going to Laugh At You

Web Watch has had some wonderful wedding memories:

There was the wedding at the bowling alley during the Stanley Cup playoffs
The wedding where the bride proudly proclaimed to everyone within hearing distance how she wasn’t going to consummate the marriage that night… and why.
Getting the entire wedding party to lick the ice sculpture as a photo opportunity for the official photographer…after pretty much all the other guests have already done the same thing.
That wedding where we had to arrive six hours early to clean the bathrooms at the reception hall

And then there was the wedding where the DJ was asked to play the first 20 seconds – and only the first 20 seconds – of this NSFW song during the reception:

Seriously, that was a wedding to remember. And all of the above — good friends, and good times all.

And no, we won’t mention the engagement party where the groom-to-be publically and graphically declared his love for his bride’s bosom. Because that was not a wedding, and therefore ineligible for this post.

Which brings us back to today’s topic: SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN DO TO SCREW UP SOMEONE ELSE’S WEDDING. We’ve already given you #8 on the list of “things not to do at a wedding” with the Adam Sandler thing — so remember, don’t do any of these things if you want to be invited back to the next soiree:

Telling an inappropriate story during the congratulatory video
Hitting the bride or groom in the face with a bag of rice
Being the drunk guy
Botching the best man speech. A wedding is not a bachelor party. (Again, see how Adam Sandler fits into this?)
Objecting
Bring a date that either hates or used to date the bride or groom
Trying to kiss the bride when you aren’t the groom

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Hot Dog! Vuvuzelas BANNED from major July 4th sporting event!

web gangsta — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 23:00:12 +0000

Buy a Vuvuzela

The VUVUZELA, the loud stadium horn made famous at this year’s World Cup, has found another event that it is not welcome.

The INTERNATIONAL FEDERATION OF COMPETITIVE EATING (IFOCE), which runs major eating events around the world, has issued a press release stating that VUVUZELAS ARE BANNED FROM THE ANNUAL NATHAN’S FAMOUS HOT DOG EATING CONTEST on July 4th at Nathan’s on Coney Island, New York.

The full press release is after the break:

Major League Eating has announced that vuvuzelas will be strictly prohibited at the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Championship, scheduled to occur in Coney Island, NY at high noon on July 4, 2010.

The vuvuzela, an affordable plastic trumpet, is known for its distinct and inconsistent hum. Since the World Cup began last weekend, fans have complained that the constant drone produced by vuvuzelas has negatively impacted their enjoyment of soccer’s biggest tournament. To the chagrin of many fans, FIFA, the World Cup’s governing body, has yet to ban the noisemaker.

“We refuse to let vuvuzela use damage the competitive eating aesthetic,” said Richard Shea, president of Major League Eating, the governing body of all stomach centric sport worldwide. “As a result, these horns will be prohibited at the Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island on July Fourth.”

The Fourth of July is considered to be competitive eating’s biggest day. It is estimated that as many as 40,000 fans crowd the corner of Surf and Stillwell Avenues in Coney Island to witness the Nathan’s Famous hot dog eating contest first hand, while more than a million households tune in to the live ESPN broadcast.

“This year marks the 95th anniversary of the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest, an event that has become an integral part of America’s Independence Day celebration. We will not let the sanctity of our game be disrupted by an annoying, bee-like hum,” Shea added.

The greatest competitive eaters on earth gather in Coney Island each July 4 to compete in the Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog-Eating Contest. Last year, Joey Chestnut – the number-one-ranked eater in the world – defeated a field of 18 other eaters from around the world in front of a crowd of 40,000 fans by consuming 68 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. Chestnut will defend his title in 2010.

The contest is free and open to the public. It will also be broadcast on ESPN from 12pm to 1pm EST on July 4, 2010.

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The Ultimate List of Worst Earworms Ever Recorded (You’ll Never Guess #1)

web gangsta — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 23:00:47 +0000

Audio Mashup Construction Kit

Earworms.

They’re those songs in your head that you just can’t get rid of. It happens to everyone — 98% of people have had an earworm at one time or another.

But it took a PhD student at the University of Montreal Department of Psychology – Andréane McNally-Gagnon – to create a study to identify, for once and for all, what THE ABSOLUTE WORST EARWORMS OF ALL TIME ARE. The study was conducted by asking both musically-oriented people and those without a music background to rank 100 pop songs for their “repeatability”. They then asked participants to hum some of the earworm songs, and to report their emotional state before and after the experiment. It should come as no surprise that those participants with a musical background had a harder time letting go of an earworm versus those who were not as musically inclined.

From the study, here are the top 25 Worst Earworms Ever:

WHAM!: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go
THE MUPPETS: Mahna Mahna
CHRISTINA AGUILERA, PINK, LIL’ KIM, MYA: Lady Marmalade
PHILIPPE FONTAINE: Cœur de Loup
STEAM: NA NA NA HEY HEY KISS HIM GOODBYE
TOM JONES: Sex Bomb
ABBA: Dancing Queen
LADY GAGA: Poker Face
THE LION KING SOUNDTRACK: Hakuna Matata
EUROPE: The Final Countdown
KATE RYAN: Ella elle l’a
Jingle Bells
JINGLE: Le Clan Panneton
THE 5TH DIMENSION: Let the Sunshine In
Sleigh Bells
QUEEN: We Will Rock You
The Chicken Dance
THEME FROM Inspector Gadget
THE BEATLES: Hey Jude
Nursery Rhyme: Moi j’connais une chanson
GENE KELLY: Singing In The Rain
OPUS: Life is live
BOBBY McFERRIN: Don’t Worry, Be Happy
GLORIA GAYNOR: I Will Survive

And the number one earworm, according to the study?

LA COMPAGNIE CREOLE: Ça fait rire les oiseaux

Web Watch knows what you’re asking – why all the French? Because if you ask French-speaking people for their opinion, you’re going to get French-spoken answers.

And in case you were wondering? One rumored effective way to get rid of an earworm is NOT to sing Copacabana, as is commonly thought. No, you should try eating some cinnamon candy instead. That should do the trick…

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Mr. Dormouse’s Animated Album Covers and Rock Cats ROCK

web gangsta — Tue, 18 May 2010 23:00:21 +0000

Animusic – Animated Music Video

We all have those nifty MP3 audio programs, such as WINAMP or WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER that display funky animations on screen when the audio is playing.

And on our iPod / iPhone / Android devices, the music players will display the static album cover as artwork in order to give you something to look at while you’re scanning through your music library.

So why not put the two ideas together?

That’s what MR DORMOUSE did with his blog entitled ANIMATED ALBUMS, where he takes a classic rock album and animates the artwork.

Whether it be a Morrissey fiddling away on a violin, watching The Clash break the guitar on the cover of London Calling, or Nirvana’s flying statue on In Utero actually flying off the album cover - it’s all about bringing the album art cover to life in some manner.

It’s all very Terry Gilliam / Jib-Jab / Monty Python-esque.

But Mr Dormouse doesn’t stop with just Photoshoping record albums. He also Photoshops kittens into famous rock-and-roll photographs with his ROCK CATS blog. Look, there’s a cat with Paul McCartney! There’s a cat hiding underneath Courney Love’s dress!

See, it’s funny because it’s true!

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You only need to learn four chords to write The Perfect Pop Song

web gangsta — Sat, 01 May 2010 23:00:34 +0000

Rock-n-Roll Camp for Girls

Web Watch knows the secret to writing The Perfect Pop Song.

Aside from what Web Watch has already told you about The Perfect Pop Song, if you are really serious about wanting to be a song writer, it all boils down to this — all you really need to know is that EVERY POP SONG EVER WRITTEN HAS USED ONLY FOUR CHORDS.

It’s more of a progression, really, as it depends on what key you’re working in.

If you’re dealing with pop in the key of E-Major, then you’re looking at chords E -- B -- C#m -- A.

Want the key of C instead? Then you’re going to go C -- G -- Am -- F.

(Try it -- whip out your iPhone or Android and fire up your handy guitar app. We know you have one handy. That’s okay, take your time… we’ll wait for you.)

As long as your chords are in the I – V – vi – IV progression, you’re fine. Other song styles have other progression sets, such as “Country Rap” using the three chord progression I -- IV -- V -- I (which would be E -- B -- A -- E or C -- G- F -- C if we’re using the keys shown above).

Play around with different sets and keys until you find the one you like. The point is that you won’t need more than four chords to make The Perfect Song.

You might not think that this holds true -- but watch these videos that explain how it seems like Every Song Ever Written seems to have been written with the exact same chords:

Rob Paravonian

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM

AXIS OF AWESOME, ver 1

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I

AXIS OF AWESOME, ver 2

www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1fQ1P4Mwlc

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I

Some of the songs featured in the above videos that all use the same chord progressions include:

Vitamin C -- Graduation
Aerosmith -- Crying
Coven -- One Tin Soldier
Blues Traveler -- Hook
Green Day -- Basket Case
Matchbox 20 -- Push
Bush -- Machinehead
U2 -- With or Without you
Natalie Imbruglia -- Torn
Avril Lavigne -- Sk8er Boy
Twisted Sister -- We’re not gonna Take it
Better than Ezra -- Good
Bob Marley -- No Woman no Cry
Beatles -- Let it be
Journey -- Don’t Stop Believing
James Blunt -- You’re Beautiful
Alphaville -- Forever Young
Jason Mraz -- I’m Yours
Mika -- Happy Ending
Alex Lloyd -- Amazing
The Calling -- Wherever You Will Go
Elton John -- Can You Feel The Love Tonight
Maroon 5 -- She Will Be Loved
The Last Goodnight -- Pictures of You
Crowded House -- Fall At Your Feet
Kasey Chambers -- Not Pretty Enough
Red Hot Chili Peppers -- Under the Bridge
Daryl Braithwaite -- The Horses
Marcy Playground -- Sex and Candy
Men At Work -- Down Under
A-Ha -- Take On Me
Eagle Eye Cherry -- Save Tonight
Toto -- Africa
Beyonce -- If I Were a Boy
The Offspring -- You’re Gonna Go Far Kid
Pink -- U and UR Hand
Lady Gaga -- Pokerface
Aqua -- Barbie Girl
The Fray -- You Found Me
30h!3 -- Don’t Trust Me
MGMT -- Kids
Five for Fighting -- Superman

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The top reason to play guitar? “Enlightenment”. The top reason not to play guitar? ‘Cause you’re a girl

web gangsta — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:00:50 +0000

Guitar for Dummies

A few years ago, Web Watch learned how to play the guitar. It was just a beat-up six-string that we picked up from a second-hand store. We weren’t very good, but we struggled through. Never really started rockin’, but at least we were trying.

What kept us going was the TEN REASONS TO PLAY GUITAR:

Mating – because every chick loves themselves a guitar god
Piss off Your Parents – especially when the amp stays cranked up to 11
An Alternative to the Sporting Life – face it, for every football team, there has to be a marching band. And how many guitar players do you know in the marching band?
Improve Your Vocabulary – songwriting and musical arts. Finding words that rhyme. You know, English class stuff
Be the Life of the Party – because the party don’t start til you show up
Form a Band and Join the Circus – sometimes they’re one and the same
Head start on a Psychology or Management Degree – ditto
Versatility – “if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball” applies to guitar players, too
Slay Your Idols – just prove you’re better than they are
Enlightenment – music is your life. Learn it, live it, love it.

But not everybody feels the same way about guitar playing as others. There are those who say that girls suck at playing guitar because of THE NATURAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GIRL GUITAR PLAYERS AND GUY GUITAR PLAYERS. Maybe it’s because women guitarists are afraid to break a nail. Or that female guitarists are never good lead guitar players. Maybe it’s because guys pick up the guitar to get the ladies (see #1, above), and women pick up the guitar to actually learn how to play the guitar. Or that women are naturally more confident and don’t need to strap on an axe to prove themselves.

Gender differences aside, if you take a good look at the real reasons someone decides to take up the guitar, be sure that they aren’t one of the FIVE STUPIDEST REASONS TO START PLAYING GUITAR:

You like how it looks on you
To get chicks
For the money
To be the fastest shredder
You’re really good at Guitar Hero

And it’s that last item about Guitar Hero wannabes ruining the guitar scene for the rest of us that leads Web Watch to our last point: the TOP FIVE REASONS YOU SHOULD PLAY A REAL GUITAR INSTEAD OF GUITAR HERO:

Playing a real guitar is cooler than playing a plastic toy
Beating a song on “expert level” doesn’t really get you anywhere in terms of actual skills
If you had bothered to use that same amount of time learning how to play a real instrument instead of a video game, you might actual be able to walk away with something
Cost of a real guitar and some basic training is about the same as a video game rock band setup
Just like sex – why pretend to do something with a toy when you can go out and try the real thing out in the real world?

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How to Dress Like Justin Bieber (and why anyone would want to do so)

web gangsta — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:00:20 +0000

Justin Bieber Wall Art

If you’re a fan of JUSTIN BIEBER (and these days, who isn’t?), then one of the more popular things that his fans like to do is DRESS LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER.

(What? You don’t know who Justin Bieber is? Then you need to read the JUSTIN BIEBER GUIDE FOR OLD PEOPLE before continuing on…)

Justin’s look all has to do with dressing simply and with the occasional splash of color. Some of Justin’s outfits have consisted of:

black jeans, black long-sleeve shirt, a white belt, and a lime green scarf.
blue jeans, red t-shirt, gray light jacket with the sleeves rolled up, and some sort of metal necklace
gray straight jeans, black t-shirt, purple-and-black plaid shirt.
Sometimes, it’s as easy as LOOKING AT A PICTURE and then SEEING WHAT JUSTIN’S WEARING. (For once, Wiki Answers has gotten this question correct on the first try)

See, you probably already have this stuff in your closet already. Just don’t be afraid to rock the accessories, or listen to the haters over at Yahoo Anwers who tell those who ask how to dress like Justin to “go back in time and not hit puberty, then wear a baseball hat, put a hoodie on, and wear your pants really low. Voila! We have Justin Bieber”.

In a FASHION-ORIENTED INTERVIEW THAT JUSTIN BIEBER DID WITH VMAN magazine, he says that his fashion sense really didn’t start coming together until he signed his deal and started working on his music in Atlanta as he “built up my swagger”. The magazine calls Justin’s style “…something of a Hotlanta edge”.

If you’re the type of person who likes to play with dolls, feel free to try the JUSTIN BIEBER DRESS-UP DOLL.

But maybe you don’t have any trouble at all looking like Justin. Maybe you’re already told by all your friends that you should go into the celebrity impersonation business. Perhaps you need to check out LESBIANS WHO LOOK LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER and submit your picture to the site. Sadly, the site also asks for photos of Justin when he’s looking “cute as f”, so you have to sift through all the Justin Bieber photos to get to the real dopplegangers.

In any case, whatever you decide to do should be okay. One 15-year-old fan said that all Justin does is “he dresses like the kids dress nowadays“.

So where does all this “DRESS LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER” craze come from? Well, it really is no different from any other pop star trend in the past. (Remember your collection of FRANKIE SAYS RELAX tshirts that you wore in the 80′s?) According to a study by Tim Kasser, psychology department chair at Knox College, ADOLESCENT GIRLS IDOLIZE MALE CELEBRITIES because it gives them a safe object to practice romantic relationships with. Also, girls who idolized celebrities were more experienced daters and had closer attachments with boys their same age. Unfortunately, these same girls also were more materialistic and more susceptible to commercialism.

Not worried about being sucked into a commercial culture? Then here are some bonus videos that Web Watch found just for you:

How to Dress like Justin Bieber

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC7yzfM5E08

How to Dress Like a Rock Star (behind-the-scenes Justin Bieber shoot)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-DugeOsNbg

Justin Bieber Fashion Police at the Grammys

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGml_ksC1Ss

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How much royalties do musicians make selling music? If sold via iTunes, almost not enough to live on

web gangsta — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:00:53 +0000

32GB iPod

Previously, Web Watch has written about how little money artists receive from music sales.

While that post was about the best band in the world and how they are still in debt to Warner Brothers even after millions of albums and downloads sold, new information has come to light regarding more current and popular artists and how they are affected by music royalty payment calculations… or lack thereof.

Lady Gaga, for example, was reportedly PAID JUST $167 FOR FIVE MONTHS WORTH OF STREAMING (totalling over 1 million plays) of the song “Pokerface” on the streaming service Spotify. Of course, SPOTIFY DISPUTES THIS, and says that the payment that was reported was for a tiny timeframe, represents just one country, and was still when they were a lesser-known streaming service. Web Watch thinks that even with those caveats, since the streaming totals or dollars paid weren’t updated in the counter-discussion, that Gaga’s low payment number still stands.

Referencing other EMPIRICAL DATA ABOUT HOW MUCH ARTISTS GET PAID for each type of distribution method, David McCandless put together a phenomenal graphic that VISUALLY SHOWS HOW MUCH (or little) MONEY ARTISTS ARE PAID, specifically looking at how many items in each distribution model need to be sold in order for the artist to make a monthly living minimum wage. Let’s take a look at what David’s graphic is trying to tell us:

For purposes of the discussion, a monthly minimum wage is 160 hours per month at $7.25 per hour… $1,160 per month.

A self-pressed CD, sold to fans at shows for $9.99 apiece: the artist would keep $8 for each one sold, meeting montly minimum wage after selling just 143 discs
A record label release, sold in retail stores for $9.99 each: the artist would get $1 for each album sold, and the label would get $2. 1,161 records would need to be sold for the artist to meet that minimum wage. If the royalty structure was on the lower-end of the spectrum, that same album sale would still net the label their $2, but the artist would find their per-sale royalty sliced by 2/3 – to just $0.30 for each one sold. Doing the math, they’ll need to sell 3,871 units to match.
iTunes and Amazon downloads may cost less at $1 apiece, but the labels have to get their cut of the pie: $0.63, leaving $0.09 for the artist. Just to make minimum wage, they’ll have to sell 12,399 songs this way.
Streaming music royalties bring in even less money for the label and the artist. Rhapsody pays the label $0.0091 and the artist $0.0022 for each streamed song. Last.FM pays $0.00015 to the label and $0.005 to the artist, and Spotify pays $0.0017 to the label and $0.00043 to the artist for each streamed song.

As folks pointed out in the comments for the graphic, the best way for artists to make their money is by selling music directly to their fans and by going on tour, selling merchandise, and other revenue sources (unless they have a 360 deal that further cuts into an artist’s profit). That’s not to say that there isn’t money to be made using the download or streaming models, but for both of those cases — and especially for the streaming model — the artist is really counting on sheer quantity of listeners picking out their music in order to cash in.

There is no doubt that the music industry is in trouble, but they should have seen this coming. After all, there was a natural progression in music sales over the past 20 years:

people who had albums replaced those with cassettes for convenience and portability
people who had cassettes or albums replaced those with CDs for longevity, quality, and convenience
people who had CDs stopped buying and started ripping those to MP3 formats for ultimate transportability and conversion. Converting from cassette or album wasn’t as easy, and some purchases came from those formats being upgraded to digital as well. After all of a user’s existing music collection is converted to MP3 format, new music is now purchased solely electronically, to be used anywhere.

The question that the music industry needs to ask is where do consumers turn to next for the ultimate format that will require a complete re-purchase of a music fan’s existing catalog? Because once somebody has spent $1,000 on $0.99 MP3 downloads from iTunes, they will be hard-pressed to spend another $1,000 for the exact same songs in a new music format that replaces MP3. No automatic purchases to upgrade a library means that the music industry has lost their money train, and they need to figure out how to please both the artists (those supplying the product) and the consumer (those spending the money).

MP3s and MP3 players have been gaining ground in the public eye since 1999. In a July 2000 article entitled THE FUTURE OF MUSIC DISTRIBUTION, Andrew Jenner asked for the following:

What I’d like from an ideal MP3 player would be for all the tracks to be weighted, and for it to pick one at random that I haven’t heard too recently. If I get bored of a track I should be able to say “play this one a bit less often”, whilst if I hear a great song that I haven’t heard for a while, I should be able to say “play this one a bit more often”. If I really get annoyed with a song I should be able to say “never play this song again unless I specifically ask for it” (these commands will henceforth be referred to as “voting for” a song). I’d have a continuous stream of music much like I get on the radio, but tuned to my specific tastes, and without those annoying DJs

In this ideal society, everyone has, of course, a permanent high-speed connection to the internet. In fact, all this music is probably being streamed from a server somewhere to save you having to lug around gigabytes of storage in your personal stereo. So all you need to do is to instruct the server to occasionally play you a track you haven’t heard before, based on the songs liked by other people that like the same songs as you. When the server decides that you should hear something new, it looks at somebody else’s music collection, collects a list of songs that they like you haven’t heard before, decides how much their tastes overlap with yours, weights the list by this “overlap coefficient” and by how much they like these songs, repeat for lots of people and pick the song which comes out with the highest score (you could take your mood and the moods of these other people into account as well). It then plays you the song and you can vote on it.

That was written almost a year before the first iPod came out in 2001, if that helps put things into perspective for you. Which means that in the last 10 years, it seems that Andrew has gotten his wishes answered with each iteration of the iPod and iTunes. Then again, he also had this to say in the same piece:

So perhaps everyone should be free to download as much music as they like, but they should still buy the occasional album to keep the artists happy. The artists should see the free music as a promotional tool, not as a threat to their livelihoods.

Unfortunately, as we see by the amount of money the artists get paid, perhaps digital distributions is a threat to an artist’s livelihood after all.

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Video Fun: Love is a Battlefield, the literal music video version

web gangsta — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 23:00:33 +0000

Flip Video Camera

It’s been a while since Web Watch last visited the LITERAL MUSIC VIDEO genre.

Trust us, after you watch LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD at the 3:19 mark, you’ll want to go out and dub up your own.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsZ-BMKVbSc

Sing it with us: “knee kick, knee kick (one two three and….) boobie shake, boobie shake, boobie shake, boobie shake (tae bo, tae bo, tae bo, tae bo)”

Men Without Hats: Safety Dance

www.youtube.com/watch?v=p023YD3DDPg

Eurythmics: Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IcneD9y5tw

Meatloaf: I’ll Do Anything for Love

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPko-aXvJM

The Monkees: Daydream Believer

www.youtube.com/watch?v=nViC0K-zifk

Starship: We Built This City

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaNSgkEH1po

David Hasselhoff: Hooked on a Feeling

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztHAcNbHKF0

Barenaked Ladies: One Week

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E81lkSorS4

Still have this going through your head?
“Stick ‘em up (play the air guitar) Stick ‘em up (play the air guitar)”

Yeah, we thought so.

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Seen Lady Gaga’s TELEPHONE video yet? Here’s a list of 25 things you may have missed

web gangsta — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:00:37 +0000

Hopefully you have seen Lady Gaga’s latest video, TELEPHONE, by now.

If not, here’s the 9-minute long video for you:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ95z6ywcBY

Whether you like Lady Gaga or hate her, there’s something about an artist willing to take the music video and turn it into something more of an event that you have to appreciate on some level. Michael Jackson may have pioneered the long-form music video, but Lady Gaga is the latest to have picked up the concept and run with it.

If you take the time to watch the video closely, here are 25 THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN LADY GAGA’s TELEPHONE VIDEO. Some of the highlights include:

At about 1:34 we see a woman rockin’ Lady Gaga’s Heartbeat headphones. Unless you follow everything Gaga, you may not have known what those are.
Around 2:00, a chime plays and a voice over the speaker comes on. This chime is the same as the opening of her song “Monster.”
During the fight scene, the one in black (that looks like Lady Gaga) is Lady Gaga’s sister Natali.
At 5:35 is Gaga’s most important product placement, a Polaroid camera. This is significant because of Gaga’s position as the Creative Director for Specialty Line of Polaroid Imaging Products

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Think you have an awesome name for your band? So does everyone else

web gangsta — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:00:35 +0000

We’ve all played that game: somebody says something that sounds a bit off while you’re all out drinking at the bar (something along the lines of “Hey, what those bar hotties reject Ian’s pickup line”) , and someone else in the room chimes in with “hey, that would make a great band name!” (in this case, “Bar Hottie Rejects”).

If Web Watch had a nickel for every awesome band name that we’ve come up with while in a drunken stupor – well, we’d be in a drunken stupor a lot more often (but drinking more expensive stuff).

The Wall Street Journal recently wrote a piece that analyzed a band name database, and came away with the determination that ALL THE GOOD BAND NAMES ARE ALREADY TAKEN.

The most popular band name in their research? “Bliss”, with 18 different bands laying claim to the name. Other most popular band names include “Mirage”, “One”, “Gemini”, “Legacy”, “Paradox”, and “Rain”.

So all this means is that if you have a band that’s looking to get started down that long road to fame, you have to be more diligent with your research, trademark filings, MySpace/Facebook/Twitter accounts, and more.

Sometimes, all it takes is sending a text message to your grandmother for band name inspiration. That’s how LMFAO GOT THE NAME OF THEIR ACT. They wanted to call themselves “Sexe” (pronounced “sex-say”), and when they texted their grandmother their idea, she responded “LMFAO“. Redfoo and Sky Blu knew a good idea when they saw it, and they decided to run with LMFAO instead.

Grandma likes to party, it seems. Good for her.

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Watch this video: Jedward’s UNDER PRESSURE / ICE ICE BABY

web gangsta — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:00:29 +0000

Apparently, Web Watch has been living under a rock since last November when teen sensation JEDWARD hit the scene in Britain’s THE X FACTOR program.

Sure, they may have lost the competition, but that hasn’t stopped JEDWARD (aka eighteen-year-old identical twins John Paul Henry Daniel Richard Grimes and Edward Peter Anthony Kevin Patrick Grimes) from moving forward and releasing their popular version of UNDER PRESSURE (ICE ICE BABY) as their first official release.

The best part? Getting Vanilla Ice to sing on the single. Maybe they’ll learn something about music sampling and the trouble that including unlicensed clips can bring by including him.

Watch the video below:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbAukTboPMY

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What is the key of YOUR favorite songs?

web gangsta — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:00:49 +0000

Remember back when Web Watch told you about how THERE SHE GOES by SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHER was called THE MOST PERFECT SONG EVER RECORDED? It was called that, in part due to its ideal song length, and for other reasons as well.

While it may not be a way to tell if what you’re listening to is THE perfect song or not, if you’re a LAST.FM user than we can at least identify if the key of your favorite songs all fall into the same ballpark or not.

In other words, do you favor listening to songs that are in the same key or not?

There’s no need to sign into your Last.FM account (and Web Watch wouldn’t encourage handing out your passwords to any of these types of services anyway) — all you have to do is click over to HacKEY and type in your Last.FM username. Since all Last.FM playlists are public, HacKEY can then scan the top 50 listened-to songs in your playlist and pull additional metadata from the Last.FM database about each song. In this case, the song keys.

Web Watch ran HacKEY on our own Last.FM playlist, and here are the results:

25% of all our favorite songs were in F major
15% were C major
10% of our songs were either B-flat major, G Major, or E minor
Rounding out at 5% were B-flat minor, G-flat minor, A major, and E major.
The remainders were lumped together as “others”

Web Watch had thought that we preferred minor keyed songs, but with our Last.FM playlist showing us preferring majors over minors with a 75% vs 25% margin, we may need to rethink our music tastes.

As for what key THERE SHE GOES is written in? Sounds like B-flat to us.

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Buy This Album: Peter Gabriel’s SCRATCH MY BACK

web gangsta — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:00:44 +0000

This week, Peter Gabriel releases a new acoustic album entitled SCRATCH MY BACK, with no guitars or drums.

On the album, Peter covers songs done by other artists. Later, a companion album of Peter Gabriel covers by other artists will be released on a disc entitled I’LL SCRATCH YOURS.

The songs on SCRATCH MY BACK include:

HEROES by David Bowie
THE BOY IN THE BUBBLE by Paul Simon
MIRRORBALL by Elbow
FLUME by Bon Iver
LISTENING WIND by Talking Heads
THE POWER OF THE HEART by Lou Reed
MY BODY IS A CAGE by Arcade Fire
THE BOOK OF LOVE by The Magnetic Fields
I THINK IT’S GOING TO RAIN TODAY by Randy Newman
APRES MOI by Regina Spektor
PHILADELPHIA by Neil Young
STREET SPIRIT by Radiohead

Some of the covers to be on I’LL SCRATCH YOURS have been announced to include the following:

Paul Simon doing BIKO
Stephin Merrit of The Magnetic Fields doing NOT ONE OF US
Randy Newman doing BIG TIME
Tom Yorke of Radiohead doing WALLFLOWER

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Dee Snider wants us to TAKE BACK THE HORNS

web gangsta — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 00:00:05 +0000

Rock-n-roll is all about being a rebel and going against The Man and The Corporation.

To hear Dee Snider tell it, it’s also not wearing a pledge pin on your uniform.

That’s why Dee Snider has asked the Internet to come together for one singular cause:

To TAKE BACK THE HORNS

See, Dee doesn’t see anything wrong with fans rocking out with the devil horns at concerts, or flashing them to each other as you drive by blasting some DIO in tribute to the guy generally regarded as the one who invented the hand gesture used by everyone since.

No, Dee has a bigger purpose in mind – to stop Corporate America from abusing this sacred rock-n-roll symbol and turning it into yet another corporate marketing symbol that’s reeks of sell-out abuse.

So pop over to TAKE BACK THE HORNS and help Dee spread the word and end this blatant misuse of something that belongs strictly to the people.

And to Dio.

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Want to be in a music video? Open casting call is online now – all you need is a webcam

web gangsta — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:00:41 +0000

Web Watch was at a music video shoot many, many years ago. It consisted of standing around a concert stage in an empty arena for hours on end while the same song got played over and over for the artist to lip-sync. It really wasn’t as much fun as we were promised, and no pizza was provided. Through the magic of editing, the crowd shots in the finished video look much more packed than what was really there.

So have you ever wanted to be in a music video, but were never in the right place at the right time? Now’s your chance.

ONE FRAME OF FAME is a music video web production for the band C-Mon & Kypski and their latest single entitled MORE IS LESS.

They’ve posted a full-length video on the website, and have asked Internet users from around the world to fire up their webcam and duplicate any single shot in the video while you sit at your computer. As each submitted frame is approved, it is swapped into the original video.

That’s it. Just a single headshot of you mimicking what you see in the video. Can’t get much easier than that to achieve life-long Internet fame as a music video participant, right?

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Lip Dubs on YouTube are the new MTV (until the lawsuits come)

web gangsta — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 00:00:56 +0000

Kids today love music, and they love their YouTube.

So why not put the two together into a LIP DUB? It’s a better group activity than Rock Band or Guitar Hero, and can even result in some kids getting grades if they do this as a special project in the classroom (as seen in the amazing backwards video below).

What is a Lip Dub? It’s a homemade music video done as a single tracking shot through a school, office, mall, or other environment. All the participants are dancing around the camera into and out of the shot, and the main person on screen is lip-syncing the song. There are no rules -- more than one person can sing any part of the song, and random costumes are encouraged. The term “Lip Dub” itself is traced to Jakob Lodwick, founder of the Vimeo video service.

If you get your office together to create a lip dub, you can even submit your production to OFFICE LIP DUB.

We won’t get into the details surrounding the hows and whys behind some of these lip dub videos, but you can click through to the stories behind the stories for full details. Let’s just say that some of these folks may have too much time on their hands, but they’re making stuff that’s wildly creative and entertaining.

The bigger question for these students is going to be whether making lip dubs and posting them to YouTube and other video sharing services is legal or not.

Jakob Lodwick’s Vimeo openly solicits for lip dubs to follow their original creation of Flagpole Sitta. Now, Vimeo is being sued by the record labels for encouraging these flagrantly illegal lip dub videos to be made in the first place. One side says that the homemade videos’ use of songs qualify under fair use; the labels say that doesn’t count since the entire songs are usually used.

Watch these videos, and decide for yourself if the music labels have a point:

HEY YA! by Outkast

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPTd8MgAeqI

You Make My Dreams Come True by Hall & Oates (filmed backwards!)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7TI-AJi2O8

Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger

The obligatory “Making of…” video

I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zcOFN_VBVo

Nine in the Afternoon by Panic at the Disco (starring Jessica Alba?!?!)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2ie3B1a-To

Barbie Girl by Aqua

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqf4-4AdYsE

I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xc8_Br9VaQ

I Want You Back / ABC by Michael Jackson

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw6I51UE1W8

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Mahna Mahna (doo doo doo doo doo). Mahna Mahna (doo doo doo doo).

web gangsta — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:00:06 +0000

So by now, Web Watch hopes that you have taken the time to view the Muppets’ version of Queen’s BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY.

If you haven’t, we’ve included it here. (If you have, we know you’re just going to click PLAY again, if only to watch Animal’s segment one more time.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

Obviously the highlight of the video for most people is Animal’s part. Web Watch, on the other hand, enjoyed noticing the many lesser-known Muppets that were included in the video, including Mahna Mahna.

We all recognize the character Mahna Mahna and the two pink cow-like Snowths that sang “Mahna Mahna” on The Muppet Show. Mahna Mahna was able to sneak his way into Bohemian Rhapsody and sing the only two words he knew… and somehow it worked in the song. Here he is singing “Mahna Mahna” on The Muppet Show.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdUeVAkzEas

But one thing you may not have known is that Mahna Mahna is not the only Muppet to have sung “Mahna Mahna”. Years earlier, the character BIP BIPPADOTTA SANG THE SONG WITH TWO RANDOM GIRL MUPPETS on Sesame Street.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDtXCsnMP7M

Just watching the two clips side-by-side really shows that the gag itself didn’t change, but the quality of the puppeteering really improved over time. Which might be the real reason why Mahna Mahna got picked to appear in the Bohemian Rhapsody video and not Bip.

While we’re on the subject of fun Muppet videos, remember that Beaker is already an award-winning video star for his version of ODE TO JOY that he did last year.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A

But do keep in mind that if you try to imitate Beaker in the wrong place or at the wrong time, it could get you in trouble.

How? Just ask these KIDS WHO WERE SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL FOR IMITATING BEAKER. “MEEP”.

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The Ugly Truth about Music Royalties from TOO MUCH JOY’s Tim Quirk

web gangsta — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:00:44 +0000

TOO MUCH JOY was a band in the early 90′s that not a lot of people knew about, although they had a reputation for being one of the best live bands around. Web Watch knows this first-hand, having been lucky enough to have the chance to see them play more than a few times over the years.

If you’ve seen the film SHAKES THE CLOWN, then you’ve heard TMJ’s song “CLOWNS” (which also was part of a lawsuit brought by Bozo the Clown). Web Watch recalls that “CRUSH STORY” was used on some television special about teen idols in 1992 or so. And fans of magicians Penn & Teller should know about the band, as Penn as praised TMJ repeatedly in print and has sat in with the guys in the studio, and Teller directed one of the band’s music videos.

In other words, Too Much Joy has been around the block a few times. They’ve released a few albums, made national news covering other people’s songs, had some radio play, have celebrity fans, and have done pretty well for themselves in the subsequent years. They’ve even been called “sell-outs” by some of their fans. What’s not to love?

Tim Quirk, lead singer of Too Much Joy and now an executive at the music streaming service Rhapsody, knows the answer to that question: the music royalties.

It’s not the royalties themselves that has Tim pissed off, but it’s THE FUZZY MUSIC ROYALTY ACCOUNTING being done by Warner Brothers, Too Much Joy’s label, that has him reeling – and it’s a really good lesson for anyone who is curious about the ins-and-outs of music royalties to take into account before they decide to go into the music business in the first place.

It seems that Warner Brothers charged Too Much Joy for promotion of their albums and other business fees. WB gets to keep all the royalty payments received until the debt is paid off. Anything earned after that point is the band’s to keep.

TMJ’s current bill of money owed to WB is $395,277.18.

Their latest royalty payment was for $62.47.

That number doesn’t make any sense to Tim, especially since he’s in a position to actually know what he’s talking about. Tim details all he went through to get answers out of the Warner Brothers accounting department, asking all the tough questions that needed to be asked:

Why do we get paid 50% of the income from all the tracks on one album, but only 35.7143% of the income from all the tracks on another?
Why did 29 plays of a track on the late, lamented MusicMatch earn a total of 63 cents when 1,016 plays of the exact same track on MySpace earned only 23 cents?

And iTunes information was nowhere to be found on the reporting statement Tim received.

Obviously, Tim’s rant should get a followup of some kind. One of the commenters on his post suggested giving 60 Minutes a call to do an expose on the inner-workings on digital music royaties and where all the money goes – especially if the money isn’t going to the band because the accounting is flawed.

After reading what Tim has to say about how Too Much Joy appears to be getting screwed over by Warner Brothers, it’s no wonder bands are bypassing the record companies and releasing and distributing their music themselves.

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Want some awesome – and free – Christmas and holiday music? Check out these two sites…

web gangsta — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:00:07 +0000

If you’re looking for some free Christmas or holiday music, you need to pay attention this month.

AMAZON.COM has decided to share FREE MP3 DOWNLOADS of holiday music in the Amazon Music Store. Every day, Amazon will be placing a free song on their site for download. For example, today’s free MP3 song is “Joy to the World” by Casting Crowns. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

But if you really enjoy some old-school classic Xmas music, you need to turn no further than FALALALALA.COM – PRESERVING THE MEMORIES OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC PAST.

For the past few years, the self-proclaimed “King of Jingaling” has been ripping and posting dozens of out-of-print classic Christmas albums to share with the world, if each only for a limited time.

If you visit FA LA LA LA LA regularly, you’ll be reminded of how pleasant a holiday season could be with phenomenal Christmas music by The Hollyridge Strings, The Mike Sammes Singers, Esquivel, and other great musicians and groups.

If you’re sick of listening to the same-old renditions of those holiday chestnuts that you hear every time you head out to the mall, one trip down memory lane on FA LA LA LA will bring a smile back to your face.

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