Multitasking Sucks. And if You’re a Multitasker, You Suck Too.


By web gangsta | Published:

Finally, a study has come out from Stanford University that proves what Web Watch has been thinking all along:

MULTITASKERS SUCK.

It’s true.  And you know it.

You see them every day at the office or at the house.  Maybe you’re even married to one who claims to be more successful than you are because they’re a “multitasker”.  They can do more things before breakfast than you’ll do all day.

Oh, la-di-freakin’ dah.The truth is out.

Multitaskers may be good at taking on a lot of projects, but they’re not very good at them, the researchers found.  The study showed that multitaskers don’t focus well, are easily distracted (SQUIRREL!), and don’t shift well from one task to another.

The results shocked the researches so much that their original theory (that multitaskers really were as good at stuff as they said they were) was blown completely out of the water, and will require further study.

Of course Web Watch will believe these researchers over others.  After all, the magazine also published an article entitled “Independent evolution of knuckle-walking in African apes shows that humans did not evolve from a knuckle-walking ancestor”.  We all know this to be true, otherwise how else would we find chimpanzees riding a Segway so amusing?