Here’s one way to tell if you’re being a douchebag online


By web gangsta | Published:

Face it – everyone can be a little bit of a douchebag once in a while.

It may not always be seen in public, but it can happen.

And it doesn’t really matter if you say “douche”, “douchebag”, “bouchedag” or some other variation.  A douche is a douche, no matter what you call it.

My Dad is a Hipster Douchebag
My Dad is a Hipster Douchebag

But let’s get to the more public stuff — yes, we’re talking about YOU, Twitter user.

We get it.  Twitter is fun.

But Twitter is like shouting out off the mountaintop and hoping someone will hear you.  And sometimes that powerful broadcasting voice that Twitter gives you leaves open a doorway into potential douchebag-dom.

There are services like KLOUT that believe they’re able to tell you how “influential” your Twitter feed happens to be based on the following:

  • Retweets and Mentions on Twitter
  • Comments, Wall Posts, and Likes on Facebook
  • Comments and Likes on LinkedIn
  • Tips, To-Do’s, and Done items on Foursquare
  • Comments, Reshares, and +1 on Google+

Seriously?  All that turns Twitter into a giant useless game.  Nobody really cares about any of those figures aside from the asshats that put a lot of clout into their Klout score.

(Of course, we are hearing about some out-of-work job seekers who have allegedly been rejected from potential jobs based on the employer’s research into the job applicant’s background – which can include their Klout score.)

But what about knowing if you’re a royal douchebag online?  That’s where KLOUCHEBAG comes into play.

According to KLOUCHEBAG, Web Watch is an 8 on the Klouchebag scale (“A nice person”).  We’re okay with that.

Here’s how Klouchebag comes up with their ratings, which are all good things to know if you’re considered about whether strangers online think that you’re a douche or not:

  • Anger:  do you use a lot of profanity or angry words in your Tweets?
  • Retweets:  is your timeline full of RTs, or do you beg for other people to RT you?
  • Social Apps:  is your timeline full of Foursquare checkins or junk from other useless apps?
  • English Usage: do you use a lot of abbreviations, bad spelling or grammar, or lots of Exclamation Marks?

Some quick looks at a few friends’ Twitter accounts shows us that we hang out with a lot of douchebags.

There’s a 68 “Facepalm central” and a 76 “Mostly Noise” rating there.   We’re scared to type in more names in case we find someone at 100.

Then again, chances are if we’re hanging out with someone who has a 100 Klouchebag score, chances are this won’t surprise us at all.