How To

Are you in an open marriage? (Do you even know what that means?)

Open All the Way: Confessions From My Open Marriage
Open All the Way: Confessions From My Open Marriage

You hear all this talk, on the news or one of those special HBO documentaries that they show late on a Saturday night, about OPEN MARRIAGES.

Have you ever wondered what an open marriage really was?

And how does an open marriage work?

It’s quite simple, really.  You have a traditionally married couple (or dedicated, partner relationship) – and each one of the two partners has their own boy- or girlfriend on the side.  No secrets about it, all the cards are on the table.

The key is openness (hence the name), and honesty.  No sneaking around.  Everybody knows what everybody else is doing, but the primary relationship stays core and connected.

A psychologist at the University of Utah did find that gay men are more likely than other couples to have an open relationship.  Almost 25% of all the gay men surveyed said that they slept around without holding secrets — compared to 7% of heterosexual couples and 3% gay women.

Some reports show that couples in an open relationship share less intimacy with each other than couples in closed relationships.  This shouldn’t be a surprise.

But the question to ask, if you wanted to go down this path with your current or a future partner, is whether you can survive knowing that your partner is having a more awesome extracurricular activity on the side than you are.  Relationships – whether open or closed – should not be a competition.