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How many people does a cannibal need to eat to survive?

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” is a common phrase, but one doesn’t always stop to think about what it means.

Does it mean that you would actually eat an entire horse?  Have you ever stopped to consider whether you actually could eat the whole horse or not?  Sure, we eat a pig from the rooter to the tooter, but we don’t eat the pig all in one seating.

Cannibal! The Musical
Cannibal! The Musical

But one PAKISTAN WEBSITE HAS ITS OWN MODEST PROPOSAL, a way to lighten the population as well as to feed the millions of poor Pakistan people who go hungry on a regular basis.  All you have to do is eat the non-Muslims or Shias in the country.

Here’s the caloric benefit breakdown of the average person, according to the article:

  • The average person being considered to be eaten weighs about 70kg
  • Of that 70kg, about 20kg is skin and bones — in other words, basically inedible
  • One kg of human meat can provide 2000 calories of energy.
  • Therefore, one human can provide a sustainable 2000 calories of energy a day to 50 people

Of course, the article does  a little unusual math and says that if people turn cannibalistic and start eating people, they claim that one body can serve 50,000 Pakistanis a day.  Unless our math is off ourselves, we think something’s a bit amiss here.

But still – if you absolutely had to, which of your friends would you consider eating first – merely for the caloric intake value.  And once you’ve chosen them, what would be you preferred method of preparing the meat for dinner?