Funny News

Doctors Use Natural Orafices For Surgery

CNN is reporting on a new trend in experimental surgery: DOCTORS USING NATURAL ORAFICES FOR SURGERY.   A few weeks ago, for example, a woman made the news by being able to donate a kidney by having it removed through her vagina.  

It certainly makes reasonable sense to do surgery this way if it’s possible.  There is less recovery time, no external scarring, and less risk of infection – a combination that should help reduce overall healthcare costs associated with some surgeries.  But for now, this is still considered an experimental process.

According to the article, this new technique to access areas via the mouth or the vagina is most often used to perform bariatric surgery, but has also been used to remove gallbladders, kidneys, and appendices…as well as doing other internal surgery to the stomach and related areas.  

CNN makes sure that we have all our questions answered, even when the answer seems obvious.   They make it a point to quote a doctor saying, “Women have an advantage because the vagina provides a direct access into the body,” just in case we need that pointed out to us. 

The article continues:

“For men, there have been ideas about using the penis as a natural orifice, but that’s been dismissed because the point of entry is too small. 

“If you’re male, you’re going to have to go through the rectum,” said Dr. Sayeed Ikramuddin, director of gastrointestinal surgery at the University of Minnesota Medical School. That procedure hasn’t been done on humans because, it’s “dangerous because there’s a lot of bacteria that could be spilled. If you leak, it’s a disaster.”

Let’s reiterate: someone actually considered, however briefly, trying to pull an appendix or a gallbladder through a penis. You know, because we can do it through a vagina, so it must work the same way.

I wonder who decided doing surgery via the penis was a bad idea – the doctor who considered it, or the potential first patient saying “You want to do what…where?  HELL, no.” when told of the opportunity.