If you’re not reading Cosmopolitan magazine, you’re doing yourself a disservice.
Seriously, their annual SEX ISSUE is hands-down, one of the funniest reads you’ll have all year.
And it’s all because of their regular survey feature of SEX QUESTIONS (“We answer the naughtiest things on your mind, in 20 words or less”).
Let’s get this out of the way: Web Watch has no complaints about the answers that the Cosmopolitan panel of experts provides for each of the 99 listed questions. We feel that the answers honestly (and without pretense) those questions that the typical Cosmopolitan reader is likely to want to know about.
But that doesn’t mean that we can’t snicker like the kids in the back of the 5th grade study hall by making up our own answers to these serious questions.
Here – let’s list a few of these seriously-asked questions, and see how funny you can be with your answers in the comments below:
- “What can I say that will really turn him on during sex?”
I just saved $50 on my auto insurance
- “I read that there is something in my vagina called the cul-de-sac. What is it?”
It’s that place at the end of the vagina where all the kids like to hang out and play
- “How can I really turn him on with my breasts?”
Have you tried just showing them to him?
- “What’s the hottest thing I can wear while having sex?”
Flannel. Buttoned all the way up.
- “What can I do after I tie him up?”
Finally be able to use the remote control?
- “How hard should I grip when…?”
If he screams in pain, you’re doing it wrong
- “When he’s ‘downtown’, what should I do with my hands?”
Try playing the harpsichord. Drives men crazy.
So check the magazine out, and post your funniest one-liners here… after all, women often say that the number one thing they look for in a man is a sense of humor…
- 10 Reasons to Date a Unicorn. 9 Reasons not to Date a Dinosaur.
- Reasons why you’re still not married
- The 100 funniest words in the English language
- Dear Cosmo: Your Sex Advice Sucks
- How to perform the “Perfect Handshake” according to math experts, and other handshaking stats
- Reasons NOT to date a porn star. (As if you had a chance anyway)