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Latest trend in teenage drinking techniques? Vodka-soaked tampons and “butt chugging”

Smirnoff Vodka

Parents — there’s a disturbing new trend amongst teenagers who are trying to get drunk in the most unique ways possible.

A few years ago, dropping shots of vodka directly into your eyes was the allegedly go-to way to get an instant buzz on.  Today’s kids are a bit more creative:

They’re using vodka-soaked tampons.  With each super-soaked tampon being able to retain about a shot of vodka, that’s a pretty instant ingestion of alcohol into one’s body – especially considering there are no barriers to the bloodstream down there, as you would have with the typical stomach processing when vodka is ingested normally.

And before you can say, “well, that’s just for girls” — it’s being reported that some boys have also used vodka tampons… along with doing their own thing by “butt chugging”:  doing a beer bong rectally.

So the question that’s often asked is “why do kids do this”?

The justification seems to be that taking alcohol in non-drink form is supposed to…

  • cover the scent of alcohol on your breath, so parents will never know
  • allow you to pass a breathalyzer, so the cops won’t know

In both cases, kids couldn’t be further from the truth:  they’ll still fail a breathalyzer since the alcohol will be in their bloodstream, and the end result of using any of these methods is to get drunk — there’s no way to hide that from any authority figure.

UPDATE: HuffPo writer Danielle Crittenden tried her own experiment with vodka-soaked tampons.  Needless to say, her experience leads one to believe that all this is an urban legend.  If it wasn’t, there are some girls (and boys) out there with some nether-regions that are extremely pain tolerant.