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Here’s everything you’ve ever wanted to know about embalming people

How many of you can say that you’re friends with a mortician?

Every circle of friends has a car guy, a computer guy, a music guy, a sports guy.  Why not a death guy?

Besides, you almost need one of those around just to answer all the creepy questions that everyone inevitably has.  When was the last time that you spoke to a funeral director when death wasn’t on the line?

Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt

The folks over at REDDIT threw out the challenge and had a Q&A WITH AN EMBALMER.  Here are a few excerpts of things we learned along the way:

  • The average person equals 5-7 pounds of cremated remains
  • Most funerals do not need limos, flower cars, catering, expensive caskets.  All these “add ons” are things you really don’t need the up-charge on
  • Embalming isn’t necessarily required by law. So you may not need to pay for it if you don’t want it
  • There is such a thing as a “rental casket”, that is a casket that’s only used for the viewing.  (We know.  Ew.)
  • If you die while wearing a dinosaur costume, they will cremate you in it.  While laughing their asses off.