Best Legal Ruling Ever: the Case of the Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Bikini Top

They say that all the really unusual news stories only happen in Florida.

Texas may begin to disagree, especially after what Judge Biery ruled in his recent decision in the case of 35 BAR AND GRILLE, LLC (plaintiffs) vs THE CITY OF SAN ANTONIO in what is officially being called the CASE OF THE ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENY BIKINI TOP v THE (MORE) ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENY PASTIE.

Juicy Couture Itsy Bitsy Polka Dot Underwire Bandeau Top
Juicy Couture Itsy Bitsy Polka Dot Underwire Bandeau Top

It all comes down to how naked is naked.  How much boob does a bar get to expose.

San Antonio wants to have the entertainers at the 35 Bar wear larger pasties, while the bar (and presumably the bar patrons) want to at least go with the status quo, if not a little less…. with the issue of licensing and regulating the employees based on how much (or how little) they’re wearing at stake.

As the Judge wrote in the paper:

To bare, or not to bare, that is the question. While the Court finds these businesses to be nefarious magnets of mischief, the Court doubts several square inches of fabric will stanch the flow of violence and other secondary effects emanating from these businesses. … Alcohol, drugs, testosterone, guns and knives are more likely the causative agents than the female breast, proving once again that humans are a peculiar lot.

Want to read more?

Check out the full legal paper here: