Science proves that size DOES matter. Taint so?

Tainted Love
Tainted Love

Science is a wonderful thing.

You know how women say that “size doesn’t really matter”?  It ends up that size really does matter – but not because women think they like it better that way.

Nope.  It ends up that size has a direct correlation to sperm count.  In other words, the larger the size, the more fertile sperm are around to help in the baby-making.

It’s about this time that Web Watch will like to point out that we may not be talking “size” of the same thing here.  So let’s explain:

According to a study published by the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences entitled SHORTER ANOGENITAL DISTANCE PREDICTS POORER SEMEN QUALITY IN YOUNG MEN, scientists measured the distance between the scrotum and the anus — the “taint”, cause it t’aint one and it t’aint the other — and discovered that short taint distances are related to lower sperm counts.

Based on a study of 126 men, they found the average taint length was two inches.  Taints that were smaller than 2 inches were 7.3 times more likely to have low sperm counts.

So ladies – if you want to have you some babies (or avoid having them, if low sperm count is a favorable characteristic to have in your one-night stand choices), then pay attention to that special area and take notice.  We’re sure he won’t mind if you show up at his door with a tape measure in your hand, no matter what the outcome.

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