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Baby names to avoid if you don’t want your child to grow up to be a stripper

Stripper names are interesting, aren’t they?

You can only imagine that there exists a Xerox sheet in the back of the bar that all new strippers go through, crossing off names as they become unavailable.

It couldn’t be as simple as this list of 700 STRIPPER NAMES, because some of the suggestions they have don’t seem to be very realistic:  “Henry Poopdeck, the Sailer” is not a stripper Web Watch cares to see.

Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us
Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us

At least Yelp has a more realistic list of stripper names to consider (or not): Serenity, Jade, Sparkle, Ariel.  Two enterprising, creative folks startedA LIST OF STRIPPER NAMES, FROM A to Z:

  • Alexis
  • Brianna
  • Chloe
  • Dakota
  • Essence
  • Fawn
  • Gina
  • Hunter
  • Isis
  • Justine
  • Kyaleah
  • Lotus
  • Mimi
  • Natalie
  • Ophelia
  • Precious
  • Queenie
  • Randie
  • Sasha
  • Tanya
  • Ursula
  • Vicki
  • Winky
  • Xena
  • Yasmine
  • Zoe

According to the BABY NAME WIZARD, there are specific names to avoid naming your baby if you want to avoid them becoming a stripper later in life.

The “Sexiest Names” are those that begin with “SHA” and end in “A”.  Examples given are Shawna, Shaylam, Shana, Shayna, Shyla, Shauna…    (Wait, you mean that stripper names aren’t the dancers’ REAL names?  All the more reason for parents NOT to name their children after a potentially made-up stripper name in the first place.)

The Baby Name Wizard also identified the following interesting baby naming trends:

  • Name for funniest child: Seth
  • Name for someone who would be instantly invisible: Trudy or Leah
  • Name for a kid who’ll be automatically considered tough: Bruce