Web Watch will refrain from making any “MORE COWBELL” jokes with this story: COWS DO NOT LIKE COWBELLS
So you have to ask yourself, “why? How could a cow possibly not like a cowbell? It’s a freakin’ COW BELL?!?”
Frankly, it’s that cowbells are just too damn loud. Up to 115 decibels, they say.
And when cows wear a GIANT COWBELL that can register a noise that loud, ANIMAL ACTIVISTS GET UP IN ARMS ABOUT PROTECTING COWS’ HEARING.
That’s right. There are people who do not want their cows to be deaf. A deaf cow can’t hear you coming up to them, waiting to tip the cow over. And that could be dangerous, both for you and the cow.
But it’s more than that. It’s more than just protecting a cow’s hearing from the loud noise the cowbells make.
Because it seems that COWBELLS STRESS COWS OUT. Researchers in Switzerland have determined that cows that wear these giant cowbells don’t graze as long and don’t eat as much food as cows that did not suffer the COWBELL OF SHAME.
And a hungry cow does not make enough milk for yummy Swiss chocolate. Hungry cows can’t be used for tasty steaks.
In other words, cowbells are harming not just cows, but our happiness as well.
So put that cowbell down. Nobody wants more cowbell. Certainly not the cows.