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An obvious (and unfortunate) side-effect of the “Root Suit”


Full Body Spandex Suit - Morph Suit
Full-body Spandex Morphsuit (pick your color)

So the other day, Web Watch was participating in the monthly WOOT-OFF when we saw them talking about the ROOT SUIT

We know you’ve seen the ROOT SUIT on TV this football season — it’s been featured gameday wear for any number of collegiate and NFL football fans eager to get on TV but without having to show their face.

There are other versions and names out there: the MORPH SUIT,  Zentai, a full-body spandex suit, the lycra outfit, the Spiderman getup.  And they’re all the same basic thing — a costume that you can hide in public in.

But here’s the reason we bring up the ROOT SUIT version — they had a photo gallery on their site, showing their customers proudly wearing their custom-colored ROOT SUITs out and about.

We’re telling you this so you can understand where we found today’s site — it was the watermark on one of the ROOT SUIT featured pictures.  Because there is one thing that all this spandex does, is accentuate the negatives of the body on the person wearing the suit.

More specifically, it accentuates the boner.  See?

Invisible Man Green Body Suit
Invisible Man Green Bodysuit

That’s right, today’s website is AWKWARD BONERS, brought to you courtesy of ROOT SUIT’s crack marketing department.

Because if there’s one thing that can encourage more sales for your product, it’s to feature how prominent one’s package can be (or not) while wearing your product.  Way to go, marketing folks, for pointing out that undocumented feature of the full body suit.

One reply on “An obvious (and unfortunate) side-effect of the “Root Suit””

They specifically tell you on the website that they run small, so order a size larger than you think you need. I’ve seen a lot of people wear these suits and if they follow the advice, then it looks great.

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