Web Watch has a number of friends who are just beginning the joy of parenthood. For them, this post is for you as your journey begins.
(For those of you considering children in the future, let this be a warning. For those of you who have already successfully raised their children, you may sit back and laugh, nodding your head with the knowledge you have gained over the years.)
Our friends over at the Huffington Post have compiled this LIST OF 20 TODDLER RULES that pretty much explains everything that goes through a child’s mind as they wander around the house.
Much of this sounds very similar to the HOW TO PREPARE FOR PARENTHOOD list that we shared all the back in 1994 — so the more times change, the more things stay the same.
Here are some classic items from the HuffPo piece. Be sure to click over to see the full list:
ALWAYS crap your pants AFTER leaving the house. Your best bet is to clench those cheeks together until you have left your street, and then EXPLODE!!! To achieve Legend status, do this when your parent is in a huge hurry to get somewhere very important.
Under no circumstance will you make diaper changes or potty training an easy venture. If poop does not get everywhere then you have failed
Take ALL of your toys out of the toy box before playing with any of them. This goes for books, too — rip all of them off the shelf before reading one. Your job is to make a huge mess. Hint: To keep things interesting, never ever play with the same toy or book for more than one minute.
EVERYTHING in this world belongs to you. Feel free to touch it, take it, hide it, throw it, smash it, break it and completely ruin it. HINT: ALL of the telephones in the house belong to you — store them in the toilet.