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Funny News

Running a Mistress Contest

CNN is reporting on a CHINESE MISTRESS CONTEST that resulted in one of the losing contestants dying while trying to kill the other mistresses, along with the man who came up with this brilliant idea.

The contest was held by a married businessman who had five mistresses, and he decided to lay off four of them due to the economic downturn.  His goal was to determine which mistress to keep.  None of the women wanted to lose their “job”, which came with a rent-free apartment and $730 monthly allowance. 

In case you were thinking of running your own “best mistress” contest, this is what CNN reports are the three sole criteria used to pick the winner from this private talent show:

  • How the women looked
  • How the women sang
  • How much alcohol they can drink

In the end, the businessman ended up paying $84,744 in compensation to the victim’s family and also shut down his business.  The four surviving mistresses also left him… as did his wife after learning of the affairs.

Categories
Funny

The Differences between Men and Women

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

News flash: Men and women are not alike! Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged.

Categories
Funny

A Girl’s Guide to Condoms


Girl's Guide to Dating
Girl’s Guide to Dating

Excerpt from A GIRL’S GUIDE TO CONDOMS, by Mimi Coucher

WARNING: Boys cannot read this. If you are a boy and are reading this, stop immediately. The following article is chock-full of highly intimate girl secrets that will be 10 times more embarrassing than any TV commercial for feminine-hygiene products you’ve ever seen. So quit it. I mean it. You’ll be sorry.

OLD FACT: Condoms aren’t sexy. Neither are rubbers, sheaths, prophylactics, Coney Island white fish, raincoats, skins, safes, rubber booties, socks. The package says, “Sold for the prevention of venereal disease.” The boys say, “Sold for the prevention of love”. Oft compared to taking a bath with socks on, the condom ritual was the classic bane to the romantic advances of bumbling ’50s teens.

NEW FACT: Unless you can account for all the blood transfusions, intravenous activities, and sexual escapades of your partner and your partner’s partners, you’d best get used to the idea, right now. “Say,” you blink innocently, “shouldn’t the boy be taking some responsibility for this dangerous transaction?” Yes, of course. But I wouldn’t count on it. You know how they are. And here’s a horrifying thought: not only are you protecting yourself against your partner, you’re protecting your partner against you.

Oh, cheer up. It beats abstinence.