Web Gangsta - Web Watch

Rating:  2 out of 5

Rated R for action-movie violence, a little gore, profanity, and a topless Halle Berry.

The answer:  Swordfish.
The question:  What do you get when you cross Die Hard, Speed, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Net?

A spectacular opening sequence that out-Matrixes The Matrix may draw applause in your theatre, but the rest of the movie doesn’t continue the excitement.  John Travolta turns in an almost reasonable performance, but unfortunately seems to have fallen into the Nick Cage School of Walking through a Role.

It’s not unwatchable tripe, and in many ways has some value as a summer popcorn muncher.  It just could have been so much better than it is.  Luckily, all the computer/hacker sequences are believable (for 2001).  If only we had a solid character (either on the good team or the evil team) to cheer for.  Instead, we get a mish-mash of characters we don’t totally care for one way or the other.

(to be honest, while walking out, I stuck my head into Moulin Rouge in the next theatre just so I would be reminded of what “summer movie spectacle” is all about — ’cause Swordfish isn’t it.)

Rating:  a strong 2 out of 5   (Just couldn’t give it a 3.  Wanted to, but….)

Rated PG-13 for adult situations (there’s a lot of talk about prostitutes and what they do).  No nudity.  No profanity.

This movie is a spectacle – stunningly beautiful sets, creative camera work and editing.  This movie LOOKS gorgeous.  But is it a comedy?  Mostly.  A drama?  In places.  A musical?  Definitely.  A love story?   Depends on your point of view, but signs say yes.  It will help significantly if you know your late 70’s music.

The premise sounds corny:  let’s make a movie where 90% of the dialogue is made from various clips of song lyrics.  In some cases, we’ll have the actors sing the songs too!  It’ll be loads of fun, especially if we can thrown in some interpretive dance numbers too!

Here’s the problem:  9 times out of 10, it works great.  Funny when it’s supposed to be, poignant at other times.  Baz Luhrmann has sliced-and-diced an interesting plot in and out of the various songs very well (sunscreen, anyone?).  The problem is that the movie drags at every moment in-between these wonderful set pieces.   So you’ll be laughing and enjoying the film for 15 minutes, then bored for 5, then happy again for 10 minutes, then bored for 10 minutes while they set up the next big musical production number.

Every moment that I has happy and laughing, I could see giving this movie a 3.  Unfortunately, there were just one or two more boring parts than necessary, which forced me to give it a 2.

Will this do well?  With the teenager groups (especially girls), yes.  It’s a good date movie, as it talks all about love and loss and has music you can tap your foot to.  It should do well at the box office… assuming that the critics don’t totally blast the Baz film “style”.  Oh yeah – if you’re not a fan of “unique film style” and hate those types of movies, then you’ll probably hate this one too.