Here are some different looks at how to properly mow your lawn and trim the hedges. Don’t want to be smuggling a basket of that plastic Easter grass, do you?
For the women:
Commercial #1:
Commercial #2:
Bushes, the Norman Cook remix:
Tag: Party Talk
Categories
Science says: It’s Good to Marry Your Cousin
Everyone should be marrying their cousin. So says science-oriented magazine Scientific American in an article entitled WHEN INCEST IS BEST: KISSING COUSINS HAVE MORE KIN.
Scientists studied marriage and birth records for 150,000 Icelandic couples – from 1800 through 1965 – to see if there was any connection between the relationship of the couple getting married versus the number of children the couple had.
What the scientists found was that marrying your third cousin offered the best chance of having a baby.
Women born between 1800-1824 who mated with their third cousin had more children (4.04) and grandchildren (9.17) than women who had children with someone who was related no closer than an eight cousin (with 3.34 children and 7.31 grandchildren). Similar birth differences held up as much as 100 years later, even when families were having fewer children.
The reasoning has to do with genetics, where close relatives can share genes that would reduce the chance of a miscarriage. The study showed that a person’s third and fourth cousins would share enough common genes to counterbalance any inbreeding disadvantages.
You know why those weekday afternoon television judge shows are so popular? Because everybody likes to hear other people’s dirty laundry and then voice an opinion on it by yelling at the TV.
Of course, yelling at the TV doesn’t effect the outcome of the situation.
So if you are looking for a place where you can hear an argument and take a side, you’ll want to check out SIDETAKER.
If you are having an argument with someone and just can’t come to an amicable agreement, why not take your case to the Internet and have other people decide who is right and who is wrong.
Some of the questions that are posed are relatively benign:
I do not know anyone who would be willing to take this bet. It certainly would make for an interesting end to March Madness tournament betting, especially for those who are always looking for the ultimate bet payoff with one’s friends: THE HUMAN LITTERBOX.
All the loser has to do is use a cat litterbox for a week instead of the toilet.
Sure, you’d have to figure out what to do about using the facilities at the workplace, but that could be easily arranged as litterboxes are fairly portable. What could possibly go wrong with this idea?
Apparently, this is not a new concept. Cats are writing advice columns on how to deal with messy humans, and Half-Bakery even has a suggestion on using kitty litter as a way to keep your bathroom clean between scrubs…and they’ve done the math in how humans and cats differ in pee volume.
I know what you’re thinking – someone did think that there was a practical reason to poop in a cat box. GEM718 asked Yahoo Questions the following: “Can I Poop in My Cat’s Litter Box to Train her to Do So? My kitten is 5 weeks old, and she just will NOT use her litter box. I needed to know if I were to take a dump in her litter box, would she get the idea?”
You’re just going to have to click the link to see the answer for yourself.
Categories
The Perfect Woman
Had lunch with a friend of mine the other day, and she shared this about what her husband describes to be THE PERFECT WOMAN:
- Big boobs
- Owns a liquor store
- Owns and rides a Harley
- Be a nymphomaniac
Categories
Same Sex Kiss Day at Starbucks
Want to kiss somebody in public on April 15th?
Why not try your local Starbucks? And while you’re at it, make sure the person you’re kissing is the same sex as you are. Apparently, it’s an all-day affair.
Since they’re doing a fine job promoting the SAME SEX KISS DAY themselves, I’m just going to share their press information and details after the break.
Remember Rich Hall?
He was the comedian known for the “Sniglets” he presented on Saturday Night Live. A Sniglet is a made-up word that he used to describe something that didn’t already exist in the dictionary… but should.
An example: “bugpedal” – the act of speeding up or slowing down your car in order to use the resulting passing wind to remove a dead bug from the windshield.
But Sniglets are made-up words. A comedy act. Nobody expects to use those terms in the real world.
Except in the real world, people do make up words in their families for everyday use. The remote control is a “clicker”, “remote”, “controller”, “switcher”. A wheeled trash bin is a “herbie curbie”. Some of these terms may be obvious to the casual bystander who overhears a family conversation, but other terms may need some explaining.
FAMILY WORDS: A DICTIONARY OF THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF FAMILIES is a compilation of all those terms that may be familiar to one family, but unheard of elsewhere. Some examples include:
The guy-oriented cable channel SPIKE TV has put out their A-to-Z GUIDE FOR CHASING PLUS-SIZED CHICKS, and why the larger ladies are worth having. Yup, all 26 letters are accounted for. I’ve selected a few here to entice you – check the link for the full alphabet.
B is for Business Class
When you date a big girl, your days of flying coach are over.
E is for Easier
Chances are, the reason why you’re chasing larger chicks is because it’s usually easier to snag one, and they are oh-so-grateful.
H is for Hot Friend
Girls with a few extra pounds almost always have hot female friends.
K is for King-Sized Bed
A larger lady needs a larger bed.
N is for Never Say Never
You have to try most things at least once, so don’t knock being with a big girl until you’ve tried it, and don’t hate on guys that do.
Q is for Quantity over Quality
It’s like a buffet. The quality of food is terrible, but you can eat as much as you like and leave very satisfied.