Rude Food: The Collected Food Writings of Vir Sanghvi
Because inside every one of us is an eight-year-old kid who like to laugh at fart noices, sometimes just reading a menu or wandering an ethnic grocery store can make you laugh.
Whether it be the PEE COLA or SPOTTED DICK, foods from other countries may taste perfectly fine… but the names of the products will just make you laugh out loud.
We have all seen the infamous bathroom graffiti:
here I sit
broken hearted
had to poo
but only farted
But nobody really knows where that was first written.
Luckily, thanks to the Internet, such bathroom poetry can be instantly shared and savored out to the world, thanks to NOTES FROM THE STALL.
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Russell, you may recall, had a bit of an issue in trying to use his Wilderness Explorer skills in using a latrine:
“Definitely before.” Wiser words have seldom ever been spoken.
If only Russell had read Web Watch, he would have known about this product for his trip with Carl: It may seem amusing to some people, but the PEEPOOPLE serves an equally very specific and serious purpose.
Proper sanitation and facilities don’t always exist in third-world countries. Water, whether clean or not, is often scarce and seldom used to facilitate waste management as is done in European-style bathrooms. Women have even been attacked while on their way to use whatever restroom options are available.
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“Whiskey,” to paraphrase Homer Simpson. “…is there nothing you can’t do?”
Apparently not, if you take James Gilpin as an example.
James Gilpin knows a bit of science behind the making and distilling of whiskey, and he knows that all he needs is some good sugar water to make the stuff. So, being a type-1 diabetic, Gilpin turned to one resource that he had readily available to him.
Introducing GILPIN FAMILY WHISKEY. It’s WHISKEY MADE FROM PEE. More specifically, the whiskey is made from the pee from diabetics, whose urine often contains high levels of sugar.
Mousetrapped: A Year and a Bit in Orlando
Web Watch has to admire people like Lisa Ray.
Lisa has strong convictions and a big stick-to-it attitude that isn’t often seen elsewhere. She really does mean what she says, and says what she means. Good for her.
Lisa, the founder of PARENTS FOR ETHICAL MARKETING, was upset at how the Disney corporation handled a refund request for the Baby Einstein line of early-learning DVDs. Her reaction to those events (already documented elsewhere) led her to comment to her family, “I wish we could boycott Disney. But I don’t think we can. They’re too big.”
This got her 12-year-old daughter thinking, and she suggested that maybe they could go a year without Disney.
Lisa liked this idea so much, she decided that was exactly what she and her family were going to do: go A YEAR WITHOUT DISNEY.
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Web Watch is a fan of Food Network.
We like to cook. We like to eat. We like to learn about new places to eat, new cooking techniques, and maybe have some fun along the way.
We’ve eaten at a number of Food Network-related restaurants: Guy Fieri’s JOHNNY GARLIC’s, Keegan Gerhard’s D BAR DESSERTS, Robert Irving’s EAT, and at any number of Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse, and Wolfgang Puck locations across the country. Sometimes the food at the celebrity restaurants is merely adequate; other times it’s been phenomenal and has lived up to the hype. But the journeys to eat at each location are always worth the trips.
Web Watch is not alone in our enjoyment of Food Network. Over the years, Food Network has developed so much cooking- and food-related programming that they were able to program a second cable offering, Cooking Channel. Obviously, there’s a demand for Food TV.
But with the growth that Food Network has had, there had to be some speedbumps along the way to trip them up.
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If you are active in a fantasy sports league with your friends, then you probably have run into a situation where you’re trying to make a specific deal and something horribly goes wrong.
Maybe its that you pulled some stunt regarding whether a player was on waivers or not. Maybe you backed out of a deal at the last minute because you had some insider information that wasn’t available to the general public. Really, it could be anything that really would make Ari Gold blush.
So what do you do after you’ve exhausted all reasonable alternatives and still have a stalemate?
You call in the FANTASY SPORTS LEGAL EXPERTS, SPORTSJUDGE.COM.
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Peter Griffin, Passed Out Drunk
Question for our Web Watch readers: how many drinks does it take before you pass out?
Here’s a better question: when was the last time you drank so much that you did pass out?
Better still: does anyone have photos of you passed out?
