Tag: medical

Tom likes beautiful women who can’t poop. (Memo to Tom: beautiful women don’t poop, ever.)

Post author By web gangsta
Post date March 19, 2010

TOM HAS A FETISH ABOUT CONSTIPATION.

Specifically, a fetish about women who are constipated. Beautiful women, that is.

Tom’s fascination with poop – or lack thereof, it appears – puts him into the same category as a klismaphiliac (a person with an enema fetish), a mysophiliac (a person with an excretion fetish), or an eproctolagniac (a person with a fart fetish).

Keeping the pipes clean is a four-step process:

Hydration: more water in the colon helps keep the pipes clear
Mechanical: add bulky high-insoluble fiber to your diet
Irritation: the colon needs a little irritation, such as psyllium husks or flax seed
Stimulation: caffeine, nicotine, or exercise

If you’re not doing enough of each of these four items, Tom may take an unhealthy interest in you and your clogged-up bowels.

So Web Watch would like to offer this public service announcement to help our more attractive Web Watch readers avoid people like Tom and become more regular, with some of these HANDY TIPS TO RELIEVE CONSTIPATION:

Activia
Coffee
Cigarettes
Senna Tea
Suppositories
Sugar-free candy
a Reuben sandwich
Aloe juice (mixed with lemon and water)
10 oz hot water and 1 lemon squeezed in
1 cup Magen-darm tee (Really strong chamomile tea)
3 shots of espresso
A tummy massage starting at the navel, in a clockwise motion up to above your pubic bone for 2 minutes
Touch your toes and reach up into the air and repeat for 2 minutes.
Eat fresh unsweetened, active culture whole milk yogurt with raw Quaker oats
Eliminate white flours and refined sugar
Increase intake of healthy oils like Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
Constantly eat celery before, during and after meals
2 tablespoons of raw wheat bran

Tags How To, medical

News shopping Websites

Meet Trent. To some, Trent is a savior. (You might not want to shake his hand, though)

Post author By web gangsta
Post date March 8, 2010

TRENT C. ARSENAULT IS A PROFESSIONAL SPERM DONOR.

Although, perhaps “professional” is not the correct word to use, as Trent Arsenault gives his sperm away for free to any interested party.

He claims at least 10 successful pregnancies, and suggests that those interested in his services use the “local pickup” option, although FedEx is available if necessary.

Tags medical, parenting, Relationships, website

food News

Drink this – it’s the Ultimate Hangover Cure of the Future

Post author By web gangsta
Post date March 4, 2010

Hangovers.

We’ve all suffered through ’em, whether it be at a Waffle House at 8am after a killer night on the town, or hanging out at the Magic Kingdom after doing DRINKS AROUND THE WORLD at Epcot at Walt Disney World three times too many in one day.

We’ve tried all the cures, but nobody really has attacked the real problem: that maybe it’s the alcohol that’s causing the hangover issue.

Leave it to scientists to figure out how to make HANGOVER-FREE ALCOHOL.

Tags alcohol, food, medical, News, science

10 Things

10 Fast Fart Facts (now say that 10 times fast)

Post author By web gangsta
Post date March 3, 2010

Let’s face it, Web Watch fans: farts are fun.

You know it, they know it. Sure, they may stink up a little at times, but they make the person doing the farting feel good, and those around them usually laugh a little bit. All in all, farts are not just good for you, but good for the people who hear it.

Certainly brings up the question that if farts bring so much joy to people’s lives, why people aren’t farting in public more often.

Tags 10 Things, medical, science

10 Things

Today’s Fun Fact: Smoking Leads to Saggy Boobs (and 14 other tidbits)

Post author By web gangsta
Post date February 25, 2010

If you are a woman and you smoke, Web Watch would like to inform you that you are doing your body more harm than good.

A study in 2007 determined that there were THREE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO SAGGING BREASTS, and not one of those factors involved breastfeeding. The study determined that the three factors were:

Tags 10 Things, medical

shopping Websites

Introducing “My New Pink Button” (sometimes the jokes write themselves)

Post author By web gangsta
Post date February 15, 2010

Web Watch will refrain from making any commentary about MY NEW PINK BUTTON, a new makeup product proclaiming to add a youthful pinkness to a woman’s Lady Parts.

No – unlike Natalie Bui at the University of Colorado, Web Watch will not say that we are “repulsed” or state that it’s sad that “women have become so self-conscious of their bodies that they feel that even their most intimate parts must be altered and “beautified.”

We will not call My New Pink Button “yet another extreme product to alter women’s bodies to appear more like the porn star ideal“, as Little Miss Brightside has done.

Nor will we call My New Pink Button as the “worst Valentine’s Day Gift, ever“.

No, Web Watch will not do this.

What Web Watch can do is offer the following information, taken straight from the My New Pink Button website, allowing faithful Web Watch readers to form their own opinion on the product.

After all, My New Pink Button wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t some demand for it, right?

Tags medical, nsfw, Party Talk, Relationships, shopping, website

Funny TV Video

Have an embarrassing medical question? Check out EMBARRASSING BODIES (yup, it’s NSFW)

Post author By web gangsta
Post date February 13, 2010
1 Comment on Have an embarrassing medical question? Check out EMBARRASSING BODIES (yup, it’s NSFW)

Web Watch knows that it’s wrong to laugh at other people’s medical situations.

However, Web Watch can recommend laughing at the questions that can arise from some of the more unusual medical issues that can crop up from time to time.

Because let’s face it – some folks have either some amusing medical problems or they don’t mind asking in public what are normally private conversations that one should have with their personal physician.

The UK’s Channel 4 embraces this philosophy wholeheartedly, to the point of making an Internet television program that serves just that purpose. EMBARRASSING BODIES and EMBARRASSING BODIES LIVE are a TV program and companion website that allows viewers of all shapes and sizes and of all ages and educational backgrounds a platform to ask just those questions — anonymously — that they just feel uncomfortable asking a doctor, family, or friend about.

Tags medical, nsfw, TV, Video

10 Things How To

Boosting your metabolism helps you lose weight. Sadly, Twinkies are not the answer

Post author By web gangsta
Post date January 17, 2010

One thing Web Watch knows how to do is tell others what they are supposed to do to lose weight.
It’s quite simple – “eat less and exercise more.”

See how easy it is to say that? The hard part, as we all know, is actually following through with the advice that we freely give to others. Web Watch may not practice what we preach, but we’re really not the kind of people we would preach to anyway.

So let’s pretend that you’re already trying to eat a sensible breakfast, healthy lunch, and small portions at dinner. You’re exercising a little bit every day as best you can, but you haven’t really noticed any real differences yet.

Maybe all you need to do, since you’re doing everything else right, is to kickstart your metabolism a little. Here are a few suggestions that you can try:

Tags 10 Things, diet, How To, medical, science, survey